10-Mark Essay: UK Democracy

A 'Projected Grade' is an estimate of the final grade you would achieve if the entire essay maintained the quality and style of the work provided.

How to Read Your Feedback

This highlight shows an argument FOR the statement (i.e., that the UK is democratic).

This highlight shows an argument AGAINST the statement (i.e., that the UK is not democratic).

This highlight shows Evaluation, where you weigh up arguments or make a judgment.

Class Overview

Analysis of Class Performance

Overall Class Strengths

Understanding the Question: The majority of students understood the need to provide a balanced argument, attempting to present points for both sides of the statement.
Identifying Core Concepts: Most students correctly identified fundamental democratic activities like voting, elections, and protests as relevant points for discussion.
Use of Examples: Several students successfully used specific examples to support their points, such as safe seats, electoral systems, and contemporary political events.

Overall Class Weaknesses

Absence of Evaluation: The most significant barrier to higher marks was the general lack of evaluation. Most answers presented a list of 'for' and 'against' points without a concluding paragraph that weighs these arguments to reach a justified, overall judgment on the question.
Undeveloped Arguments: Many points were stated rather than explained in depth. Students often identified a point (e.g., "we have elections") but didn't develop a chain of reasoning to explain *why* this makes the UK democratic.
Factual Inaccuracies: Several responses included factual errors (e.g., "annual general elections," confusion over voting ages) which undermined the credibility of their arguments.

Next Steps for the Teacher

Focus on Evaluation: Explicitly teach the structure of an evaluative conclusion. Model how to weigh up arguments (e.g., "While the UK's regular elections are a key democratic feature, the argument that the FPTP system undermines this is more convincing because..."). Use evaluative language drills.
Develop Chains of Reasoning: Use a "So what?" or "Why does this matter?" questioning strategy in class. Take a simple point and continually ask the question to encourage students to extend their analysis and add depth.
Knowledge Consolidation: A short factual quiz on key concepts like the UK electoral system, the role of pressure groups, and the frequency of elections could address common misconceptions.

Candidate: 0001

Projected Grade: 4/C

4/10

Question 10Level 2: 4/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

Some would agree with this statement because of local elections. This is because throughout the year there are loads of general elections where people can vote on ma things that matter to them and there area. Another reason why some people would agree would because of the annual elections. A real world example would be the 2024 general election were the labour Party came into power. Finally some would agree because this is a good exam annual general elections allow people to know they will always have a say at some point.

However some would disagree because some people don't feel the need to vote. This is because they feel as though their vote won't contribute much in the grand scheme of things. Another reason why some would disagree would be because some areas the results of some areas votes tend to be the same. For example Christchurch tend to vote mostly for Conservative. This could be due to age or culture but this could lead some people not to want to vote.

Feedback

Strengths

You have a clear, balanced structure, addressing arguments both for and against the statement.
Your point about 'safe seats' (like Christchurch) is excellent. It shows a good understanding of why some people feel their vote doesn't matter and is a strong argument against the UK being fully democratic.

Targets

Your argument for the statement is weakened by a factual error – general elections are not held annually. Be careful with your supporting facts.
To reach the higher levels, you need to add a conclusion that weighs up both sides of the argument and makes an overall judgment. This is called **evaluation** and is key to scoring more marks.

Candidate: 0002

Projected Grade: 5/C

5/10

Question 10Level 2: 5/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

Some People may agree with this Statement because in the UK, every Pesson 18 or over has the opportunity to vote. This means that everyone has the decision to take part in democracy or not, this contrasts massively with countries such as Saudi Arabia where Women are not allowed to vote. Another reason people may agree with this statement is because there is many opportunities in the UK to get involved with Politics. For example local councils and Organisations such as young Politicians, which encourage people to get more involved in democracy.

However, Some People may disagree with this Statement because they believe the UK could be more democratic if a low was enforced for people to vote. This means that they believe everyone should be forced to vote to ensure everyone participates in the election. Another reason for disagreeing with this statement would be that People feel pressured to vote for a certain Political party due to different Promotions and false advertising. For example Parties such as the Cons Reform UK handing out leaflets telling People If they vote Reform, all ilegal immigrants will not be accepted in the UK. Because of this advertising People may base their decision of their vote, leading to unfair

Feedback

Strengths

You make a very strong point supporting the statement by contrasting the UK's universal suffrage with the situation in other countries like Saudi Arabia. This is an effective way to argue.
Your arguments are well-structured and you have a clear 'for' and 'against' section.

Targets

Your key target is to add **evaluation**. After presenting both sides, write a concluding paragraph where you decide which side of the argument is stronger and why. This is essential for a high mark.
Your final sentence is unfinished. Make sure to complete your points to make the argument fully clear.

Candidate: 0003

Projected Grade: 7/A

7/10

Question 10Level 3: 7/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

Some would agree that there are many opportunities in the UK to participate in politics. One example of this would be voting. This could be in local elections or in general elections. Because of the UK's First Past The Post voting system, this allows for an arguably successful democracy. Another example of political democracy in the UK is protesting. In the UK, we have the right to free speech and a peaceful protest to express our thoughts on political stances. For example, recently, there was an anti-immigration protest in London urging the gov to crack down on illegal migrants.

However, some would disagree that there are limited ways to participate in politics in the UK. They might feel that there are more countries that are more democratic than the UK. For example, one view is that we don't really have free speech - e.g. if you support 'Palestine Action', you would be considered a terrorist and arrested - which many say does not give us political freedom. Another reason is because they might be unable to participate. For example, a working single mother or an ill, bed-ridden patient who do not have time or the ability to participate in politics / democracy. Also voting under 18 is not allowed, leaving people younger feeling excluded.

Feedback

Strengths

This is a high-quality response with excellent analysis on both sides of the argument.
Your arguments against the statement are particularly strong. The point about practical barriers to participation (like being a single mother or ill) is very insightful.
You are beginning to show **evaluative** skill by using words like 'arguably'.

Targets

To secure a top-level mark (9-10), your final step is to add a clear conclusion. In this conclusion, you must perform a sustained **evaluation** by weighing up the arguments you've made and providing a justified judgment on the statement.
Your point on FPTP is often used as a negative, so be careful to explain clearly why you see it as a positive.

Candidate: 0004

Projected Grade: 6/B

6/10

Question 10Level 3: 6/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

Some people would agree that the opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries because of the voting rights. This means that if a citizen in the UK wants to have a say in who the government are run by, they can have their say. This is different to other countries as it is justice, unlike others that run by a dictatorship where people don't get any say in who run the country. Also the UK is lowering the voting age to 16, this means younger citizens also get to have their say and participate in political decisions if they choose to do so. Another opportunity UK citizens get is the right to make petitions which can potentially reach parliament (if enough signatures are collected) and then people debate the content of the petition. This can make changes and help people feel involved in politics, which makes the UK much more democratic.

Some others may disagree because of the 'first past the post' rule, meaning lots of people came out unhappy with how the country is won because sometimes coalitions have to be formed, creating an unstable government. This means that people could view this as very undemocratic because decisions from other parties may be made that citizens dislike.

Feedback

Strengths

You have a good range of arguments, including specific and relevant points about petitions and the voting age.
Your explanation of why coalition governments can be seen as undemocratic is a well-reasoned point.
There is a clear and balanced structure to your answer.

Targets

Your point about lowering the voting age to 16 is currently only true for some UK elections (e.g., in Scotland and Wales), not general elections. Be precise with your facts.
The key to unlocking the top marks is **evaluation**. You need to add a conclusion that weighs your 'for' and 'against' points and comes to an overall judgment on how democratic the UK really is.

Candidate: 0005

Projected Grade: 5/C

5/10

Question 10Level 2: 5/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

The UK is known for their democratic policies and participation opportunities. This both can be seen as Good and Bad so lets explore the negatives and positives.

The major democratic policy that the UK maintains is having the right to vote, and the right to not vote. This means that if someone truly felt isolated from the political options, the person can simply choose not to vote for anyone. This rule isn't evident in places like Austrailia where you are fined if not voted, however this can be seen as a negative policy as people would be voting for the sake of not getting a fine rather than actually voting for the best party. The main issue that people have with the right to not vote is that It can stop people from voting, and participating towards the countries future.

Another democratic policy the UK has is the right to protest, this has been used and part done loads of times, but some may argue that their right to protest was unfairly judged. For example If you had raised a palestinian flag, you could be arrested and tak taken away. This can be seen as not so democratic as you could've been just peacefully raising the flag, and you have been punished for expressing your right to protest, and freedom of speech.

Feedback

Strengths

You show some good evaluative skills by comparing the UK's voluntary voting system with Australia's compulsory one.
Your argument about the limits on the right to protest is well-explained and uses a contemporary example to make a strong point.
The structure is clear and balanced.

Targets

To improve, you need a concluding paragraph that provides a final **evaluation**, weighing up the positives and negatives you have discussed to reach an overall judgment.
Your phrasing is sometimes a little unclear ("part done loads of times"). Aim for precise, academic language.

Candidate: 0006

Projected Grade: 3/D

3/10

Question 10Level 2: 3/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

The uks voting opportunites are one of the most democratic out of most countries.

Some people might agree with this statement because in the Uk you don't have to vote, you can vote by choice. This means that the votes are meaningful and are actually done by people who do really want to vote. Another reason for this is that when someone is elected, and others dont like that person, the people who haven't vored dont really have much to complain about. This is because not all people would have vored and volunteered to participate in politics.

Some people might also disagree with this statement. This is because in the Uk not everyone has to vote its a descision. This might make people think the country isn't one of the most democratic for voting because some countries its by law that you have to vote. Another reason why some people could think that this statement is not true is because in countries like Austrailia

Feedback

Strengths

You have a clear understanding of the difference between voluntary and compulsory voting and use it for both sides of your argument.
You have a balanced structure.

Targets

Your answer is quite repetitive, making the same point about compulsory voting for both the 'for' and 'against' sections. You need to introduce a wider range of arguments.
Your final sentence is incomplete. Ensure you finish your points.
To get a higher mark, you must add an **evaluative** conclusion that makes a final judgment.

Candidate: 0007

Projected Grade: 7/A

7/10

Question 10Level 3: 7/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

Participation in politics is a good way to ensure people or citizens of that country remain happy in how their society is run some people agree and others dont.

Some people may agree because every person will agree because then their voices can be heard which gives power to the people in the UK. An example is general elections. During them people vote for a certain party if pleased by their manifesto, in the UK this happens every few years so if economice of or social issues change people can vote regularly to match the needs of the country. such as in 1945 when the UK was struggling after two terrible wars labour won as economy was in a crisis and they were the best canditate to fix this.

However some people may disagree as they may be disillusioned to how this participation takes place. Again, in general elections the process used is first past the post (FPTP) which a controversial method as it leads to an inevitabal two party system and people who disagree with both parties will not feel represented... and also leads to minority rule as seats taken in the house of commons arent proportional to the amount of votes for that party causing cracks in UK democracy.

Feedback

Strengths

This is a very strong response with excellent, detailed analysis.
Your argument against the statement is outstanding. You not only identify the FPTP system but also explain its negative consequences in detail (two-party system, lack of representation, disproportionality). This is high-level analysis.
Using the 1945 election is a good historical example to support your point.

Targets

Your primary target for reaching the top level is to add a conclusion which provides a sustained **evaluation**. You need to weigh your powerful points about FPTP against the democratic positives you mentioned and come to an overall, justified judgment.

Candidate: 0008

Projected Grade: 1/E

1/10

Question 10Level 1: 1/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

This statement tells is about how the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world because of the opportunities to participate in politics. There are many arguments towards this to support and oppose such a thing.

An argument to support the statement is because participating in politics is extremly simple ad there are lots of opportunites to agree with this. Because of the opportunities open up the helps the UK be one of the most democratic countris in the world... Participating already marks it a key point to show the UK is a democratic country of people already want to be a part of politics making it a positive democratic count. This can be shown as countries like North Korea not letting a lot of people be apart of politics...

However, an arguement against can be that although there are opportunites not may people may not want to join in politics... There are opportunites to participate in politics. This my not ensure the UK is one of the most democratic country...

Feedback

Strengths

You have understood that you need to present arguments for and against the statement.

Targets

Your answer is very repetitive and does not contain any specific points or examples. To gain marks, you must provide actual reasons why the UK is or is not democratic (e.g., talk about voting, elections, human rights, etc.).
You need to explain your points in much more detail.

Candidate: 0009

Projected Grade: 2/E

2/10

Question 10Level 1: 2/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.

Student's Answer

In some cases, some people would agree that the opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world and they might think this because getting people to participate in politics help the UK become a better place as more ideas are brought together. although some people may disagree as they think it wald make the uk a worse place as not everyone agrees with everyone and everyone has different views. Making more arguments, protests and riots occur. There have been many examples of where people haven't been happy with other people beliefs and views and protest, riots and arguments have happened. Another reason why participating in politics ensures the UK is one of the most democratic countres in the world is because for example changing the rule for 16 year olds being allowed to vote gives them the opportuni more people the opportunity to get involved in politics helping the uk becme a more democratic country whereas some people may disagree with this and think that they shouldn't have allowed 16 year ols to vote as the uk dosence need to become that democratic.

Feedback

Strengths

You make one clear, specific point about extending the voting age to 16 and correctly identify this as a way of increasing democratic participation.

Targets

Your initial points are very confused and contradictory. Try to structure your answer with a clear 'for' and 'against' paragraph.
The point about the voting age for 16-year-olds is not accurate for UK-wide general elections. Be careful with your facts.
You must add an **evaluative** conclusion to reach a higher level.

Candidate: 0010

Projected Grade: 4/C

4/10

Question 10Level 2: 4/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

The opportunity to participate in politics is an important factor in democratic countries. In this essay, I'll be explaining whether or not this opportunity ensures the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.

Some people might agree with this statement because you can participate in politics by voting in Referendums. This is important because it allows people to express their opinions on a subject freely and allows people to have a say in how the country is run. This therefore makes the UK democratic because democracy means people have a say in how the country is run. for example, people can vote on whether or not a new law should be passed. Another reason to support this statement is because you can become an MP. This ensure's UK's democracy because you can actively represent a group of people and make it easier for people to take their opinions directly to the UK government.

However, some people may disagree with this statement because free voting ensures the UK is one of the most democratic countries. This is important because free voting means even those who are poor can vote and voting isn't just aimed at those who are rich. This ensures democracy because in democracy, everyone is equal and should be allowed to have their say on how the country is run no matter what how much money they have.

Feedback

Strengths

You have a good structure with a clear introduction.
You identify some excellent and specific ways people can participate, such as voting in referendums and becoming an MP.

Targets

Your 'However' paragraph is not an argument against the statement; it's another argument for it. You must provide points that challenge the idea that the UK is one of the most democratic countries.
To achieve a high mark, you must have a balanced argument with points on both sides, followed by an **evaluative** conclusion where you make an overall judgment.

Candidate: 0011

Projected Grade: 2/E

2/10

Question 10Level 1: 2/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

On the one hand I agree with this statement, this is because the fact that everyone has the opportunity to participate in politics makes the UK one of the most democratic countries in the world, this is because the government allow people to participate in politics by voting, joining a party and other means. this means that everyone can participate in the UK's politics and this mean that it makes the UK very democratic compared to other countris where there citizens don't get the opportunitie to participate fairly in politics.

In contrast, some people may disagree with this statement, this is because just by allowing people to participate in politics, doesn't make the UK one of the most democratic countries, this is becase democracy is when the people get to vote for a leader, and the people can vote on what they want, and with certain laws that people don't like and oppose such as the online sayfty act or the digital id's, it has shown that the petitions and votes to remove it don't really work or get acknowledged. this shows that the UK isn't the most democratic...

Feedback

Strengths

You have a clear 'for' and 'against' structure.
You make a reasonable point that the government can sometimes ignore petitions or public opinion, which is a valid criticism of UK democracy.

Targets

Your points are very general and lack specific examples or detailed explanation. For instance, instead of just saying "people can participate," give examples like standing for election, joining a pressure group, or protesting.
You must add an **evaluative** conclusion where you weigh up the two sides and make a judgment to score higher marks.

Candidate: 0012

Projected Grade: 6/B

6/10

Question 10Level 3: 6/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

A - Voring, provest

Some people would agree with this sratement is because in the UK most people have the right to vote. this means that we can be involved politically on who runs the country. the general election takes place ever about every five years and is run by a first past the post system. This means that the political party to reach a specific amount of votes will win the election. People being allowed to vote for the party of their choice means that the UK is very democratic. Another reason some people might agree is because we have the right to peaceful protest. This means that people can stand up against an issue that concerns them. This is important as protests can reveal the people of the UK's attitude and protests can often persuade the change and make people seen to the government.

One reason someone might disagree is because voring in the UK is now mostly seen as a two party contest. this means that peoples votes can be manipulated and disregarded as they see no point in voring for their actual beliefs. This is because two parties lead the Clabour and Conservative

Feedback

Strengths

You have a very clear structure and make well-explained points on both sides of the argument.
Your explanation of the right to protest and its function is a strong point 'for' the statement.
Your argument against, focusing on the problems of a two-party system, is well-reasoned and shows good analytical skill.

Targets

You identify the "first past the post" system but list it in your 'for' section. FPTP is almost always used as a criticism of UK democracy, as you hint at in your 'against' paragraph. Linking these two points would make your argument more coherent.
To reach the top marks, you need an **evaluative** conclusion where you judge whether the positives outweigh the negatives.

Candidate: 0013

Projected Grade: 6/B

6/10

Question 10Level 3: 6/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

Some may agree with statement as they believe lots of countries have strict regimes with rigged elections, like Russia where Putin wins every time.

Others may disagree as they believe first past the post isnt democratic as it usually leads to a two party system like in the UK where labour and conservatives have been in power pretty much all the time for the last 50 years.

On the other hand, the fact that all citizens can participate in elections is good as it means everyone can make a change which a lot of countries who claim to be democratic make it so voting doesn't even make a difference.

Finally, some may disagree with this statement as people here on settlers statements or because citizens who are underage cant vote. A real example is, my friend Antos who has been her for over ten years he can work live die, buy a house and have a family and ye he cannot vote... He suffrage has been lowered but it taking is unacceptable...

In conclusion, I believe that agree with the statement, but, I believe taken far too long for change to finally happen as its been needed for longer than ive been alive.

Feedback

Strengths

You have a good range of arguments on both sides. Your point about FPTP leading to a two-party system is well-made and specific.
Comparing the UK to "rigged elections" in other countries is a strong piece of evaluation.
You have included a conclusion which makes a judgment, which is a key requirement for higher levels.

Targets

Your conclusion is a good start, but to be "sustained evaluation" for the top level, you need to explain *why* you agree with the statement, referencing the arguments you made earlier.
Some of your examples are a bit unclear (e.g., the 'settlers' point). Try to explain your reasoning fully.

Candidate: 0014

Projected Grade: 5/C

5/10

Question 10Level 2: 5/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

Every person in the UK over the sufrage age is allowed to legally vote. Which is a massive part of participating in politics. Some people may agree with this statement as they believe other countries have stricter regulations with elections even sometimes being unfair and rigged.

Others may disagree as they believe the UK voting system isn't democratic as FPTP often leads to a two party system, in the UK labour or conservatives have been in power for the past 50 years atleast, and this means voters won't actually vote for who they want, but for either labour or conservatives as one of them will most likely win anyway.

More people may disagree with this statement because only people over the voting age can vote, which some people don't believe to be too democratic, but actually quite the opposite, as some people would like to vote but because of the laws in this country they legally aren't allowed to.

Feedback

Strengths

Your argument about the voting system (FPTP) is a highlight. You explain clearly and in detail why it can be considered undemocratic.
You have a balanced structure, providing arguments for both sides.
Comparing the UK to countries with "unfair and rigged" elections is good evaluative thinking.

Targets

The key missing element is a concluding paragraph that provides an **evaluation**. You need to weigh up the arguments and decide, with justification, how democratic the UK is overall.
Your final point about the voting age is a bit repetitive. Try to introduce a different point for a wider range of arguments.

Candidate: 0015

Projected Grade: 5/C

5/10

Question 10Level 2: 5/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

One of the reasons why the opportunity to participate ensures the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world is that you legaly dont have to vote. This means that if you feel disulusioned by the system and dont want to vote you dont have to. This is diffrent with other countries, for example Australia. So therefore the choice to not vote gives you more democratic choices.

Another reason why someone may support this statement is because the UK had the right to protest. This means that if people in the united kingdom dont like something the governmant are doing they have a right to protest and voice their opinion against this. This helps to ensure democracy becaus it gives people more oppurtinity to participate.

Feedback

Strengths

You show good evaluative skill by comparing the UK's voluntary voting with Australia's compulsory system to argue your point.
Your explanation of the right to protest is clear and well-reasoned.

Targets

Your essay is one-sided. The question requires you to write arguments to 'support and oppose' the statement. You must include arguments against the UK being democratic to access the higher mark bands.
After providing both sides, you also need an **evaluative** conclusion where you make an overall judgment.

Candidate: 0016

Projected Grade: 1/E

1/10

Question 10Level 1: 1/10

'The opportunities to participate in politics ensure the UK is one of the most democratic countries in the world.' Write reasoned arguments to support and oppose this statement.Student's Answer

4 One reason Someone may disagree with this statement is because they think that there are to many choices and oppertunities. This means that they beileve we should not be able to vote and we should have a dictatorship. They may thinks that this because they want One continous government.

5 Some people may disagree with this because they think that the UK should have compulsory voting to ensure more people take part in the democratic system. Therefore ensuring the UK is one of the most democratic countries.

6 Some people also think that the voting system First past the post is holding back the UK's democratic system, so they would disagree

Feedback

Strengths

You have correctly identified two valid arguments against the UK being fully democratic (the lack of compulsory voting and the FPTP system).

Targets

This is a list of points, not an essay. You must write in full, continuous prose.
Your first point is very confused and contradicts itself.
You have not provided any arguments supporting the statement, which the question requires.
You must explain your points in much more detail to gain more marks.