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Topic: Has devolution been a success for the UK?Class Eval Avg: 8.0 / 12
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Model Answer (Exemplar)
Evaluation Score: 10/10
Word Count: ~340 words (320 - 340 words are expected/analysis of 2-3 points for each writer)
View A(Bridges)
View B(Kelly)
Evaluation(Judgement)
Hover text for comments
Strong opening — immediately states a clear position while acknowledging the other side.I agree more with Dr Laura Kelly, although Simon Bridges does raise some valid concerns about government borrowing.Directly engages with Kelly's argument using her actual words from the source.Kelly argues that a well-funded NHS, schools, and public transport are "the essential bedrock of a civilised country," and I believe this is her strongest point.OWN KNOWLEDGE: Uses real NHS statistics to support the argument — this goes well beyond the source text.The NHS treats over one million patients every 36 hours, and without tax funding, millions of families could not afford basic healthcare — in the USA, where healthcare is largely private, medical debt is the leading cause of personal bankruptcy.Links back to Kelly's specific argument about who suffers when services are cut.This supports Kelly's claim that failing to fund services properly "hurts the most vulnerable and weakens society as a whole."Engages with Kelly's taxation argument using a direct quote.Kelly also argues that taxes should be paid through "a fair and progressive tax system" where higher earners contribute more.OWN KNOWLEDGE: Explains how UK tax bands actually work — concrete factual detail from outside the source.This is already how the UK works — the basic rate of income tax is 20%, rising to 40% and 45% for higher earners — so her argument reflects existing policy rather than a radical change.OWN KNOWLEDGE: Uses Scandinavian countries as evidence to support Kelly's position.Countries like Sweden and Denmark show that high-tax, high-service models can produce some of the best quality of life in the world.Pivots fairly to Bridges' side — shows engagement with both writers.However, Bridges raises a legitimate concern when he warns that "relying on borrowing to cover a spending shortfall is a deeply irresponsible strategy."OWN KNOWLEDGE: Uses UK national debt figure to give weight to Bridges' argument.The UK's national debt is over £2.7 trillion, and interest payments cost billions annually, so his warning about burdening future generations is grounded in reality.Engages with Bridges' economic argument about incentives.He also makes a fair point that lower taxes can incentivise people to "work hard and invest," which could stimulate the economy.OWN KNOWLEDGE: References austerity to challenge Bridges' position — uses real history to evaluate.But the post-2010 austerity years showed that cutting public spending led to the closure of libraries, youth centres, and Sure Start programmes, directly harming communities — suggesting that Bridges' approach has real human costs.Excellent evaluative judgement — gives a clear overall position, weighs both sides, and justifies the final decision with reasoning.Overall, while Bridges is right to warn about debt, Kelly's argument is stronger because a society that fails to invest in healthcare, education, and infrastructure does not just save money — it stores up bigger problems for the future. A progressive tax system that asks the wealthiest to contribute fairly is both practical and just.
📄 Source Passages
These are the two passages you were given in the exam. The key arguments are highlighted so you can see the full range of points available to you. After the passages, there is a list of own knowledge ideas that could have strengthened your answer.
Simon Bridges — Low Taxes Should Be the Priority
The foundation of a strong economy and a prosperous country is responsible financial management. A government must act like a prudent household: it cannot consistently spend more than it earns. The Chancellor's primary duty is to balance the books, ensuring that every pound of taxpayers' money is spent efficiently. This requires making tough choices and resisting the constant demand from every department for more funding than is available.
High taxes are a burden on individuals and a drag on the economy. When people get to keep more of their own earnings, they are incentivised to work hard and invest. When businesses face lower corporation taxes, they are more likely to expand, innovate, and create jobs. This is how real economic growth is generated. The government's role is not to take as much as it can in tax, but to create the conditions for a dynamic economy to flourish.
Relying on borrowing to cover a spending shortfall is a deeply irresponsible strategy. Government debt is not a magic solution; it is simply a tax on future generations. Every pound borrowed today must be paid back with interest tomorrow, placing a heavy burden on our children and grandchildren.
Dr Laura Kelly — High Spending on Public Services Should Be the Priority
A government's budget is not just a set of accounts; it is a statement of its moral priorities. The primary goal should be to build a fair and compassionate society, and this requires significant and sustained investment in our public services. A well-funded NHS, excellent schools for all children, and reliable public transport are not luxuries; they are the essential bedrock of a civilised country. Failing to fund them properly hurts the most vulnerable and weakens society as a whole.
This investment must be paid for through a fair and progressive tax system. It is entirely right that those with the highest incomes and large, profitable corporations should contribute a greater share to fund the services that benefit everyone. Taxes are the subscription fee we pay to live in a functioning, supportive society. Arguing for lower taxes is often just an argument for allowing the wealthiest to contribute less, at the expense of everyone else's services.
While balancing the books is important, we must not confuse national investment with household debt. Borrowing money to invest in long-term infrastructure, green energy, or education is a wise decision that will generate economic growth for decades to come. To refuse to make these investments in the name of short-term fiscal purity is to sacrifice our country's future prosperity.
Overall Class Weaknesses & Models
1. Weak Rebuttal & Counter-Argument: Many students identified a counter-point, such as Michael Davies's argument about 'constitutional chaos', but failed to effectively challenge it. Instead of just disagreeing, they needed to explain why the argument is flawed, perhaps by using evidence from the opposing source. 👉 Model: "While Michael Davies warns of 'constitutional chaos', Dr. Anjali Sharma's evidence of distinct policy successes, such as free university tuition in Scotland, suggests that this 'chaos' is better understood as productive democratic divergence, not a fundamental weakness."
2. Underdeveloped Conclusions: Most conclusions merely summarised the points made in the essay. A top-level conclusion needs to weigh the evidence presented and offer a substantiated judgement, explaining why one perspective is more convincing than the other. 👉 Model: "In conclusion, although Michael Davies raises valid concerns about national unity, the tangible policy benefits highlighted by Dr. Anjali Sharma, which directly improve citizens' lives, provide a more compelling case for devolution's overall success."
3. Overuse of Emotive Language: Arguments were often weakened by subjective and emotive phrasing. Instead of using neutral, analytical language to discuss political tensions, students used biased terms that detracted from the academic tone of the essay. 👉 Model: "Rather than claiming devolution is 'unfair to England', a more analytical approach is to state that the asymmetric nature of the settlement, where England lacks its own parliament, creates political tensions, a point central to Michael Davies's critique."
4. Factual Inaccuracy: Several essays contained factual errors regarding key political events, such as confusing the 2014 Scottish Independence Referendum with the 2016 Brexit vote. This undermined the credibility of their arguments and the validity of their analysis. 👉 Model: "The argument that devolution fuels separatism, as Michael Davies might suggest, is complicated by the 2014 Scottish Independence Referendum, where a majority voted to remain in the UK, a crucial detail distinct from the UK-wide 2016 Brexit vote."
Teacher Next Steps
1. Argument Tennis: In pairs, Student A 'serves' an argument from Michael Davies (e.g., "Devolution creates a postcode lottery"). Student B must 'return' with a direct rebuttal using evidence from Dr. Sharma (e.g., "That 'lottery' is actually democratic choice, allowing Scotland to abolish prescription charges"). They rally for 2-3 exchanges, drilling the point-evidence-explain rebuttal structure.
2. Weighing the Scales: Draw balancing scales on the board, one side for 'Dr. Sharma (Success)' and the other 'Michael Davies (Failure)'. Students write key arguments on sticky notes and place them on the scales, debating the 'weight' of each point (e.g., is a tangible benefit 'heavier' than an abstract fear?). This visually models the process of forming a substantiated judgement for a conclusion.
3. Academic Translator: Project a list of 5-6 emotive phrases (e.g., "a total mess," "selfish politicians"). Students work individually for 5 minutes to 'translate' each phrase into neutral, academic language suitable for an essay. Share the best examples as a class to build a bank of sophisticated vocabulary.
4. Timeline Correction Drill: Provide a short paragraph about devolution containing 3-4 deliberate factual errors (e.g., wrong dates, incorrect policy outcomes, mixed-up referendums). In pairs, students have 5 minutes to find and correct the errors. Review as a class to reinforce the importance of factual precision.
Candidate 16927
Word Count: ~438 words
Evaluation Score: 8/12
View A(Dr. Anjali Sharma)
View B(Michael Davies)
Evaluation(Judgement)
I agree more with Dr Anjali Sharma (AS) that devolution has been a success due to their devolved powers allowing them to improve the needs of their own state without influence from Westminster.I agree with AS because"countries can now make decisions on crucial local areas"from people who are "most affected" from it.This is a highlight for success for devolution as this means decisions made from their independent parliment are able to make more accurate laws as they are locals.Westminster parliment arent able to create precise decisions on local problems within the North of the UK as they simply dont understand their problems.Also, devolution has emphasised being able to make new laws - for example devolution allowed devolved powers on departments of education, agriculture, transport and more.Due to this, they can "abolish university fees" as they believe it reflects distinct priorities" of its area.This is a compelling point as devolved powers allow laws to be tailored towards their state for specific needs.Furthermore, devolution has increased their own sense of national identity. This reflects being able to broadcast their own traditional sports live for their community being able to cherish what makes them Scottish, Irish or Welsh.However, other people may also agree with Michael Davies (MD) as they believe devolution is still limiting their freedom.This is shown through devolution only "fuelling" them up and is only seen as a "stepping stone" for total sovereignty of "seperation from Westminster parliment".This shows through Scotland having a percentage of over a majority to stay in the UK (Brexit referendum) however the English (most commonly London) had dominated the votes ultimately leaving the UK.Scotland had still wanted to be a part of the beneficial Single Market that the EU has through its advantageous system improving their economy drastically.This is a good point as this alludes to the England's selfish desires as they think power is centralised to only them and not respecting other states opinion.However, I disagree with MD's point on that Devolution is a "constitutional chaos".Devolution has been a step foward from parliment domination through their only parliment and devolved powers.To conclude, after reviewing both sides of the argument I still agree with AS as she masterfully crafts important points on local issues needing to be solved and also the freedom gained by Devolution being able to wave personal decisions on education (University) and traditional sports broadcasted.
Quality of EvaluationGood. This is a solid response that clearly understands the core arguments of both writers. You make excellent use of Dr. Sharma's points, supporting them with well-chosen examples like Scottish university fees. Your argument is structured logically with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve, you need to ensure your own knowledge is factually accurate, especially when discussing complex events like referendums, and develop your rebuttal of the counter-argument with more detailed explanation rather than just disagreeing with it.
Developing a Rebuttal: "While I acknowledge Michael Davies's concern about 'constitutional chaos', I would argue that over 25 years of operation demonstrates stability rather than chaos. The devolved assemblies have successfully passed legislation on key issues like education and health without causing a major constitutional crisis, suggesting the system, while complex, is functional."
Strengths
Effective Use of Source A: You skillfully selected key quotes from Dr. Sharma's argument and explained their significance clearly and logically.
Strong Supporting Knowledge: Your use of specific examples, such as the abolition of university fees in Scotland and the broadcasting of traditional sports, added excellent depth to your points.
Clear Structure: The essay is well-organised with a clear introduction stating your view, paragraphs developing your argument, and a conclusion that summarises your final judgement.
Targets
Enhance Rebuttal: When you disagree with a point (like 'constitutional chaos'), explain *why* in detail. Provide a counter-argument or evidence to show why the original point is weak, rather than just stating your disagreement. This is key to a 'substantiated judgement'.
Ensure Factual Accuracy: Your example about the Brexit referendum was confused with the 2014 Scottish Independence referendum. Double-checking the details of your own knowledge is crucial for a convincing argument at the highest level.
Avoid Emotive Language: Phrases like "England's selfish desires" can weaken an academic argument. Aim for more neutral, analytical language (e.g., "This highlights a political tension where the voting power of a larger nation can determine outcomes for smaller nations.").
Develop Your Conclusion: Your conclusion is a good summary, but could be even stronger. Try to briefly explain *why* Dr. Sharma's arguments (e.g., tangible benefits like free tuition) are more convincing to you than Michael Davies's arguments (e.g., more abstract fears of 'chaos').
🛑 Unlock Your Full Feedback
To see your final mark, essay annotations, and RAG breakdown, you must answer 4 questions based on your Strengths and Targets above. You need at least 3/4 to unlock.
1. What does it mean to provide a 'substantiated judgement', as mentioned in Target 1?
2. The feedback noted a factual error in your answer. Which two events were confused?
3. Which specific piece of your own knowledge was highlighted as a key strength in your feedback?
4. Why does the feedback suggest avoiding phrases like "England's selfish desires"?
5. How could you have improved your rebuttal of the 'constitutional chaos' point?
6. What aspect of your essay's organisation was praised as a strength?
7. What is 'devolution'?
8. What did this feedback praise about your use of Dr. Sharma's argument (Source A)?
9. Target 4 suggests a way to improve your conclusion. What is it?
10. In the context of writing an essay, what is a 'rebuttal'?