Feedback Focussing on Evaluation — 15 Marker: 'Young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system.' How far do you agree?

Model Answer (Exemplar)

Evaluation Score: 15/15

Word Count: ~420 words (400–450 words are typical for a strong 15-mark response — aim for breadth and depth on both sides)

Strong, measured opening — disagrees to a large extent rather than absolutely, which immediately signals evaluative thinking and avoids a one-sided trap.I disagree to a large extent with the view that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system. Introduces the key scientific reason immediately — brain development. Anchors the whole argument in evidence from the outset.This is primarily because scientific research demonstrates that the human brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex which governs impulse control and risk assessment, continues to develop well into the mid-twenties. It is therefore unreasonable to hold young people to the same standard of criminal responsibility as fully developed adults. Concedes the opposing side within the introduction — acknowledges victim justice is a real concern. This two-sidedness in the opening paragraph is a hallmark of Level 4 writing.However, I accept that victims of serious crimes deserve justice regardless of the offender's age, and this must be considered carefully. Develops the UNCRC argument with specific legal detail — Article 40 is named, not just vaguely referenced. This shows strong subject knowledge.A key reason why young offenders should be treated differently is the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Under Article 40, the UK is legally obliged to treat children accused of crimes in a way that promotes their dignity and rehabilitation, not purely their punishment. The youth justice system already reflects this through Youth Offending Teams, which bring together social workers, probation officers and education specialists to address the root causes of offending. Immediately evaluates this point by conceding a limitation — YOTs are not always sufficient for the most serious crimes. Balanced, self-critical analysis.Despite this, one could argue that for the most serious offences such as murder or terrorism, YOTs and referral orders are simply insufficient to reflect the gravity of the harm caused. Introduces the racial disparity evidence — the 2023–24 statistics on custodial sentences and over-representation of Black and Mixed heritage children. A sophisticated, contemporary piece of evidence.Furthermore, evidence from 2023–24 shows that custodial sentences for children rose by 21%, the largest annual increase in a decade, and that Black and Mixed heritage children remain significantly over-represented at every stage of the youth justice system. Treating young offenders identically to adults would deepen these structural inequalities rather than address them. Evaluates this statistic fairly — acknowledges that statistics alone do not resolve the debate about what serious crimes deserve. Shows critical use of evidence.Whilst these statistics are alarming, it could be argued that they are a reason to reform sentencing practices generally, rather than a specific argument against treating serious young offenders as adults. Now engages directly with the FOR side — victim justice and public protection. This paragraph strengthens the answer by genuinely grappling with the strongest counterargument.There is, however, a genuine case for stricter treatment in the most extreme circumstances. Victims of serious crimes — such as the families of murder victims — may experience a profound sense of injustice if a young offender receives a significantly lighter sentence than an adult would for the same act. Communities also have a right to be protected from dangerous individuals regardless of their age, and long custodial sentences do provide public protection. Immediately counters this with the 'school of crime' research — shows that custodial sentences for young people increase reconviction rates, undermining the public protection argument.However, research into the so-called 'school of crime' effect demonstrates that young people who serve custodial sentences alongside adults have significantly higher reconviction rates. The very sentences intended to protect the public may, in the long run, produce more dangerous offenders. Clear, well-substantiated conclusion — disagrees in most cases but concedes a narrow exception for the most extreme offences. Judgement is specific and evidence-based. This earns Level 4.In conclusion, I disagree with the statement in the vast majority of cases. The combination of developing brain science, international legal obligations under the UNCRC, and evidence that rehabilitation outperforms punishment in reducing reoffending all point towards a distinct youth justice system being both fairer and more effective. I concede only that in the most extreme cases — where public safety is the paramount concern — closer alignment with adult sentencing may be justified, provided the welfare of the young person remains a central consideration.

Why this answer earned 15/15 (Level 4):

Convincing, sustained analysis of viewpoints on both sides — FOR and AGAINST arguments developed in equal depth
Arguments evaluated and critiqued throughout — limitations acknowledged even in points the writer supports
Specific, accurate evidence deployed: UNCRC Article 40, YOTs, 2023–24 custodial sentence statistics, racial disparity data, 'school of crime' research, prefrontal cortex development
A clear, nuanced, well-substantiated overall judgement — disagrees in most cases but concedes a narrow exception
Brain development used as a consistent thread to anchor the overall argument throughout

📋 The Question & Indicative Content

Q03 — Paper 1 | Section 3.8 Young People & the Justice System — 15 marks

"Young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system."

How far do you agree with this view?
Give reasons for your opinion, showing that you have considered different views on the topic.
In your answer, you could consider: how the youth justice system differs from the adult system and why; whether rehabilitation or punishment is the more effective approach for young offenders.

📌 Indicative Content — arguments you could have used

These are not the only valid points — any well-reasoned argument about the youth justice system is creditworthy.

✅ Arguments FOR the statement (treat young serious offenders the same as adults)

Victims of serious crimes deserve equal justice regardless of the offender's age — the harm caused is no less real
Young people who commit serious crimes must face consequences that reflect the gravity of their actions; otherwise the law loses credibility as a deterrent
Adult sentences protect the public from dangerous individuals, regardless of age
Treating young offenders differently may create a perception of unfairness and undermine public confidence in the justice system
Age should not be a blanket shield — maturity varies and some young offenders fully understand the consequences of their actions
Some countries try older teenagers as adults for the most serious offences (e.g. homicide), reflecting the severity of harm caused

❌ Arguments AGAINST the statement (young offenders should be treated differently)

The brain continues developing into the mid-twenties — young people have reduced impulse control and risk-awareness, making full criminal responsibility inappropriate
The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC, Article 40) obliges courts to treat children's welfare and rehabilitation as a primary consideration
Research shows rehabilitation is more effective than punishment at reducing reoffending among young people
Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), referral orders and restorative justice already address root causes of offending
Custodial sentences expose young people to more serious criminals — the 'school of crime' effect increases reoffending
In 2023–24 custodial sentences for children rose 21%; Black and Mixed heritage children remain significantly over-represented — harsher sentencing would deepen structural inequality
England & Wales' age of criminal responsibility (10) is already among the lowest in Europe — identical adult treatment would extend this outlier position

📊 Mark Scheme Level Descriptors

Level	Marks	What it looks like
4	12–15	Convincing and sustained analysis of both sides. Reasoned, coherent arguments showing good breadth and depth. A well-substantiated overall judgement.
3	8–11	Analysis of both sides evident but unsustained. Reasoned arguments present. A judgement given, although may not be fully evidenced.
2	4–7	Some analysis but focused mainly on one side. Some reasoning and coherence. A judgement given with limited substantiation.
1	1–3	Simple/generalised answer. Little analysis. Undeveloped, lacking reasoned arguments. Judgement missing or asserted without support.
0	0	No rewardable material.

Candidate 18926

Word Count: ~307 words

I partially agree with this point as young people have the will and can commit crimes. They have a brain & so they know wrong from right. Also young people are able to get criminal records showing how they can still be treated the same same way. Adults are treated. Younger offenders can also be sent to jury or court for potential offences they have done. However while young people may commit crimes this might be due to a bad background or they might have been raised wrong. Young people also go through struggles and so notions that they deserve they act. This can also be justified as mitigating factors such as 'it was there first offence' or 'it was an accident' could commonly be applied to younger individuals as thereason may not be classed as an offender for minor offences. Another reason why this view might be inaccurate is because adults are able to fully make decisions on their own such as drinking, partying, etc. while adults can make these decisions, some may force it to far. Also young peoples brains are still developing and therefore shouldnt take full criminal responsibility for one offence. For younger offenders a punishment would not be ideal as they might not learn from it. Instead they should be taken to a youth court. On the other hand, it could be argued that young people should be treated the same as adults. This could be backed up by the Jamie Bulger case where 2 little children killed a young boy. This is significant as they were punished like adults however they were given shorter sentences. This case could prove that that young people being punished do not learn from their actions as he did another 8 offences once he made it out of prison. In conclusion, while I have considered both sides of this view, I agree with this statement as young people such as 16 year olds can vote and ask for consent. This displays how younger people still have adult values and therefore should be punished and treated the same way.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You effectively argued both for and against the statement, dedicating clear paragraphs to each side. This structure is crucial for a "How far do you agree?" question.
Use of a Case Study: Your reference to the James Bulger case was an excellent way to use specific evidence to support your argument. This adds weight and credibility to your points.
Relevant Concepts: You correctly identified and used key ideas like brain development and 'mitigating factors', showing you understand the core issues in the youth justice debate.

Targets

Develop Your Points with Depth: Your points are good, but they need more detail. For example, when you mention 'brain development', you could explain that the prefrontal cortex (which governs impulse control and risk-awareness) is still developing to add analytical depth.
Strengthen Your Judgement: Your final conclusion was the weakest part of your essay. The reason you gave (voting/consent) was not strongly linked to criminal responsibility for serious crimes and was factually shaky (the UK general election voting age is 18). Your judgement must be supported by the strongest arguments from your essay.
Use Precise Terminology: To show a more expert understanding, use more specific terms. Instead of just "youth court," you could mention the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) or the use of restorative justice to show a deeper knowledge of the youth justice system.
Refine Your Analysis: In the Bulger case paragraph, you noted one of the killers reoffended. Think carefully about what this proves. Does it prove that punishment doesn't work (an argument against adult treatment) or that some young people are beyond rehabilitation (an argument for it)? Being explicit about your line of reasoning makes your analysis more powerful.

Candidate 20876

Word Count: ~334 words

Although, the concept whether young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system, is a big debate, I disagree to a large extent as we should consider the factors of the creation of different courts, the level and the level of maturity of the younger generations. One reason why I disagree with the statements that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system as we need to speak about the development of different courts of the justice system. To begin with, we know that for young people (10-17) have a youth court. These courts are less formal than adult courts which makes a sense of allows these young offenders to feel safer during court readings. This is an excellent arguement as we know that young people may not show a great sense of maturity, therefore being placed in less formal courts allows them to feel more comfortable. [crossed out] On the other hand, you could agree with the statement that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system in order to create fairness in the legal system. For example, if a youth, aged 10-17, commits murder they should be given the same sentence as an adult who has committed murder, which creates a symbol of fairness, equality and justice. Although this is a great arguement, they need to consider how a youth cannot serve in a adult prison, therefore they would serve in a youth detention. [crossed out] Furthermore, another reason why I disagree with the statement because we should consider using rehabilitation [crossed out] or community sentence on youth offenders. For example, rehabilitation is a process where offenders are able to go under change whilst being away from society, to eventually become a better individual; this also reduces re-offending rates. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement as I believe there are more less formal ways to create effectiveness of stopping youth offenders from committing crimes. Therefore I don't believe youth offenders should be given the same sentence or treated the same as adult offenders.

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You establish a clear line of argument from the very beginning ('I disagree to a large extent') and maintain it through to a logical conclusion. This provides a strong structure for your essay.
Two-Sided Argument: You successfully address both sides of the debate, which is essential for reaching Level 3. You present clear arguments for treating young people differently (youth courts, rehabilitation) and also consider the counter-argument about fairness.
Relevant Points: Your points are well-chosen and directly relevant to the question. Focusing on the purpose of different courts and the goal of rehabilitation shows a good understanding of the youth justice system's principles.

Targets

Use Specific Terminology: To add depth and show expert knowledge, incorporate key terms like 'Youth Offending Teams (YOTs)', 'restorative justice', or the 'UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC)'. For example, when discussing rehabilitation, you could mention how YOTs work to achieve this.
Develop Points with Evidence: Elevate your arguments by using specific evidence. For instance, when discussing maturity, you could mention that the brain's prefrontal cortex (which controls decision-making) is not fully developed until the mid-20s. This adds scientific weight to your point.
Strengthen Evaluation: Your evaluation is present but could be more critical. Instead of just stating a counter-argument is 'great', weigh the arguments against each other. For example: "While the argument for equal justice for victims is powerful, it is outweighed by the evidence that rehabilitation is more effective..."
Refine Sentence Structure: Some sentences are very long and contain multiple ideas (e.g., your first sentence). Try breaking these down into shorter, clearer sentences to make your argument more direct and powerful.

Candidate 4131

Word Count: ~177 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You start your answer with a clear overall judgement ('I agree to a certain extent'), which is essential for a 'how far do you agree' question.
Considers Both Sides: You have successfully included arguments for and against the statement. This is a key requirement to move beyond the lowest mark bands.
Use of an Example: You attempted to use a real-world example (the James Bulger case) to support your argument. Using specific evidence is a crucial skill for top marks.

Targets

Develop Your Points (PEEL): Your points are often stated as simple sentences (e.g., 'could potentially be dangerous'). To improve, use the PEEL structure: make your Point, provide Evidence or an Explanation, and Link it back to the question. For example, *how* and *why* would it be dangerous?
Use Specific Knowledge: Your answer would be much stronger with specific Citizenship terminology. Could you have mentioned the age of criminal responsibility (10), Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), or the concept of rehabilitation?
Strengthen Counter-Arguments: Your arguments against treating young people like adults were weaker than your arguments for. Focus on established reasons, such as brain development, the 'school of crime' effect, or the higher success rates of rehabilitation programmes.
Structure for Clarity: Try to structure your answer in clear paragraphs. For example, have one paragraph for the 'agree' arguments and another for the 'disagree' arguments. This makes your reasoning much easier for the examiner to follow.

Candidate 4203

Word Count: ~292 words

Considering both justice systems, youth Justice Systems and adult justice Systems are treated differently because of their age and a child can't face a sentence than an adult would face. I somewhat agree with this statement as there are some arguments that could be for and against this view. Some may agree and argue that minors can be just as violent and dangerous as adults. This is a good example because some young children can commit very hegnous crimes which could effect there lives forever. An example of this is when a 10yr old in the UK killed a baby with no sence of remorse. Some may also agree and argue that communities must be protected from dangerous individuals whatever there age. I'd agree with this because no one knows what a minor is up to or capable of and people should be safe from that. Lastly, some may say soft treatment for young offenders may result in re offenders. I agree with this because if a young offender is given a punishment like rehab or community services they may result in re offending because the punishment was not severe enough. Although on the other hand, some may agree disagree and argue that young childrens brains are not fully developed meaning they are not educated to their fullest ability resulting in wrong decisions. I would also agree with this because some children young people have slowly developing brains or are learning bad habits from relatives or family members. Some may argue and also say young people don't know right from wrong and I'd agree with this because young offenders may think there wrong actions were right. Lastly some may argue that an adult court is too harsh and severe for a young offender and I agree because this could result in trauma for young offenders leaving them afraid. Overall I mostly dissagree with the statement because considering both arguments, young people are still developing and may not know what they are doing.

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You structured your answer very well by looking at arguments for and against the statement. This is essential for a 'how far do you agree' question.
Clear Judgement: You ended with a decisive conclusion ("Overall I mostly dissagree") that directly answers the question and is supported by a reason from your essay.
Relevant Points: The arguments you raised, such as the need for public protection versus the fact that young people's brains are still developing, are central to this debate.

Targets

Use Specific Evidence: To add weight to your points, include factual details. For example, you could mention the age of criminal responsibility (10 in England and Wales) or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), which states rehabilitation should be a priority.
Develop Your Points (Add Depth): Instead of listing several points, try to develop one or two in more detail. For example, when discussing brain development, you could mention that the prefrontal cortex (which controls impulse) is not mature, making young people more likely to take risks.
Introduce Key Terminology: Using subject-specific vocabulary makes your answer more precise. Try to use terms like 'rehabilitation', 'deterrence', 'custodial sentence', or 'Youth Offending Teams' to show your understanding.
Proofread for Accuracy: While not penalised for SPaG, errors like 'hegnous' (heinous), 'there' (their), and 'sence' (sense) can affect clarity. A quick check at the end can make your work look more polished and professional.

Candidate 4229

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You have correctly structured your answer by considering both sides of the argument, which is crucial for reaching the higher levels.
Use of Evidence: You have attempted to use a real-world example (the case of the two brothers) to support your point that young people are capable of serious crimes. This is a good technique.
Key Terminology: You correctly use the concept of the 'rule of law' to argue that everyone should be treated equally before the law.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are often stated but not explained. For example, when you mention 'rehabilitation', explain *why* it's considered more suitable for young people (e.g., their brains are still developing, they have a greater capacity for change).
Balance the Argument (Breadth): Your argument against treating young people like adults is much weaker. To create a more balanced answer, include specific points like the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), or the 'school of crime' effect.
Clarity and Precision: Some sentences are long and confusing, which makes your argument difficult to follow. Try to use shorter, clearer sentences. For example, instead of "the rule of law which that aims to deter young youth from commit a crime that stop spoil their future," try: "The youth justice system aims to deter young people from crime to prevent spoiling their future."
Substantiated Judgement: Your final sentence is unclear. A good judgement should start with a clear phrase (e.g., "In conclusion," "On balance,"), state which side you agree with more, and explain *why* using the evidence you've already discussed.

Candidate 42292

Word Count: ~153 words

Strengths

Balanced Structure: You have successfully included arguments on both sides of the debate (for and against treating young people the same as adults). This is essential for a 'how far do you agree' question.
Use of Evidence: Your point about the brain not fully developing until the age of 25 is a strong, specific piece of evidence that directly supports one side of the argument.
Identifying Principles: You correctly identified the important legal principle of 'Equality Before the Law' as a key argument for treating everyone the same in the justice system.

Targets

Develop Your Points (PEEL): Your points are good starting points but need more development. For each point (P), try to Explain (E) it further and use an Example (E) to support it, before Linking (L) back to the question. For instance, when mentioning brain development, explain *how* this affects decision-making (e.g., reduced impulse control).
Link to 'Serious Crimes': The question specifically asks about *serious crimes*. Your example of stealing food is relevant for discussing mitigating factors, but to improve, you should also explain how your arguments apply to more severe offences like assault or robbery.
Substantiate Your Judgement: Your conclusion needs to be a clear decision that weighs up the arguments you have made. Instead of a general statement, explain *why* you find one side more convincing than the other, using your evidence. For example: "Although equality is important, the evidence on brain development is more persuasive because..."
Use Specialist Terminology: To elevate your analysis, try to incorporate more specific Citizenship terms. You could mention the 'age of criminal responsibility', 'Youth Offending Teams (YOTs)', or the difference between 'rehabilitation' and 'retribution'.

Candidate 4238

Word Count: ~221 words

Strengths

Nuanced Judgement: You reached a thoughtful conclusion, arguing for a "middle ground". This shows strong evaluative skill, as you weighed up the need for punishment against the potential of young people.
Developed 'Disagree' Case: You provided several distinct and valid reasons why young people should be treated differently, such as being coerced, the need for education, and the impact of a criminal record on their future.
Use of Evidence: You attempted to use a study to support your point about grooming. This is a great instinct! Using evidence is vital for a high-level answer.

Targets

Develop Both Sides Equally: Your argument FOR treating young people like adults (the 'agree' side) was very brief and not clearly explained. To get top marks, you must explore the counter-arguments in more detail (e.g., justice for victims, public protection, deterrence).
Use Specific Terminology: To sound more like an expert, try to include key Citizenship terms. For example, instead of "educated on why crime is bad," you could use the term 'rehabilitation'. Other useful terms include 'reoffending', 'Youth Offending Teams', and 'custodial sentence'.
Incorporate Verifiable Facts: While citing a study is good, a made-up one can be risky. Try to learn a few key facts you can use, like the age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales (10 years old) or the existence of special Youth Courts.
Improve Sentence Clarity: Some sentences were a little confusing. For example, "I do not believe that youth should not serve..." is a double negative. Always re-read your work to make sure your meaning is precise and easy to understand.

Candidate 4251

Word Count: ~387 words

I disagree with this statement to a certain degree. This is because because of the rule of law which means that everyone is equal of law, the law no matter the age of the person. However some people may disagree with this because they believe that children should be treated differently due to their ages because I believe this, most disagree. The reason of absolutely that the law upholds all I also disagree with this point given as children still have their rights and have to be placed accordingly. However their actions is further based on the criminal age of responsibility so if the child is below the age of 10 they should be able to be responsible for their actions. However, according to the law although you punish them, however I believe they should be given less severe crimes and that the law should still punish them accordingly but at the same time be a bit more lenient. Another reason why I agree with this statement is because serving harsher sentences to young children deters other children from commiting the same crimes as the punishment are more severe. Although the concept which young people who commit crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system is a big debate, I disagree to a living extent as we shouldn't. Whether the youth of the country of different laws, and the real of maturing of the younger generations. One reason why others may disagree with this statement is that young people who commit crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as Adults in the justice system as we need to speak about the differences of the youth justice system to begin with we have the youth court. Young people (10-17) have a youth court. These courts are less formal than adult courts which allow the young offenders to feel safer during court. This is an excellent argument as we know that young people may not show a great sense of maturity, therefore being placed in less formal rooms that allows them thus speaking to feel more comfortable. On the other hand you could agree with the statement that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way. It can also be argued that young people who commit serious crimes should not be treated in the same way as adults and it can be argued that the restorative justice should be used. This is better for the children as it is not restrictive. Saying this will the children can be taught otherwise. In conclusion I disagree with the statement as I believe that there are more reasons to disagree than to agree. Especially of properly so the greater point remains being that they didn't believe your youth justice system.

Strengths

Consistent Judgement: You clearly state your opinion at the beginning ("I disagree...") and maintain it through to a justified conclusion. This is essential for a "How far do you agree?" question.
Addresses Both Sides: You have successfully included arguments for treating young people the same (e.g., deterrence) and for treating them differently (e.g., youth courts), which is required to move beyond Level 2.
Use of Some Specific Knowledge: Your mention of the Youth Court and its less formal nature is a good example of using specific knowledge to support a point about why the youth justice system is different.

Targets

Clarity and Sentence Structure: Your arguments are often difficult to follow due to long, run-on sentences and unclear phrasing. Try to write in shorter, more direct sentences. Reading your work aloud is a good way to check it makes sense.
Develop Points with Evidence: You make good points (e.g., about restorative justice or children's rights) but don't develop them. To improve, add specific evidence. For example, when mentioning rights, you could refer to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Accurate Use of Key Terms: Your reference to the 'age of criminal responsibility' was confused. Ensure you understand and can accurately explain key concepts. The age of criminal responsibility is 10, meaning children *under* 10 are *not* held responsible.
Structure with P.E.E.L: To make your arguments stronger and clearer, try using the Point, Evidence, Explain, Link (P.E.E.L.) structure for each paragraph. This will help you to develop your ideas logically instead of jumping between them.

Candidate 4252

Word Count: ~333 words

Young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the Justice System. I personally think that this is a good point as it addresses basic problems like how lenient the UK government and laws are on younger offenders. And this could be a problem because it allows for young offenders to exploit the system knowing their punishment would be less severe. This can be seen in things such as the reoffending rate for young criminals. However it can be argued that although it is lenient with the youth the UK government would be being inconsistent with laws. For example the age of consent being 16 legally and the age of smoking and drinking being 18 shows how that younger people must have some form of leeway because their brains aren't fully developed which could mean they don't fully understand the consequences of their actions and as a result with the right rehabilitation any similar actions can be prevented. Whereas it's different for normal functioning adults as they are fully aware of what their doing. However it could be argued that being lenient isn't guaranteed to work and a majority of young offenders will continue to abuse the system and have. Given this point it holds merit to talk who consideration that if the youth were to be treated like adults their would be more negative effects than positive for example young criminals being influenced by older and more dangerous criminals which would lead to an increase in more serious crimes but the cost of rebuilding current prisons to accommodate younger than older criminals. Another point could be the heavy Justice System causes bias like the Jamie Boulger case where two boys resulted in death of someone else but the boys punishment where heavily revised due the Justice System and public pressure. This point would be weak due to neglecting the power of adults influencing the younger generation as they grew up watching horror movies showing the youth are cheyedable and as products of their environment compared to adults. In conclusion I disagree with the statement as the benefits of leniency far outweigh the negatives allowing for the youth to change.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You effectively explore arguments on both sides of the debate, considering why young offenders might be treated the same as adults (e.g., deterrence) and why they should be treated differently (e.g., brain development). This is crucial for reaching Level 3.
Clear Judgement: Your conclusion is decisive and directly answers the question. You clearly state that you disagree with the statement and provide a reason by weighing the "benefits of leniency" against the "negatives".
Use of Evaluative Language: You consistently use phrases like "However, it can be argued that..." and "This point would be weak due to..." which shows you are actively weighing up the different viewpoints, which is the core skill of evaluation (AO3).

Targets

Incorporate Specific Evidence: Your points are good, but they need factual support. For instance, when you mention brain development, you could refer to the development of the prefrontal cortex. When discussing the youth justice system, name specific institutions like Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Develop Your Points in More Depth: Some of your arguments are a little brief. For example, when you mention the 'school of crime' effect ("influenced by older and more dangerous criminals"), you could explain *how* this leads to higher reoffending rates and undermines the goal of rehabilitation.
Use Precise Terminology: Some of your phrasing is unclear (e.g., "heavy Justice System," "cheyedable"). Aim to use precise Citizenship terms like 'culpability' (blameworthiness), 'rehabilitation', 'deterrence', and 'recidivism' (reoffending). This will make your arguments more academic and convincing.
Refine Use of Examples: The James Bulger case is a powerful example, but your explanation was a little unclear. When using a case study, be precise about what point it proves. For example, does it show that the public demands harsh sentences, or that the system can be swayed by emotion rather than principles of youth justice?

Candidate 4304

Word Count: ~340 words

1 I A I Agree that young people who commit serious crime should be treated in exactly same way as adults in just system this because justice is suposed to be fair and balance and the crime age is responisble is age 10-17 which is legal age the law can held a offical case for one explan of this is when a 10 year old commit a horible crime his desisin, a baby this was one of the was crime responsible young people can also age choose because young people can commit commit horible crime. but with this law child tend to more desisin hissen figure out then adult this make them more an product thenself serious serious crime can be commite by adult and young however if a 14 year is a ki murder someone he can can get the same senteced as adult but one different of this child would be secure justice instead of jail however counter agree of this would be that even thought because a are serious the young there are are mistake young people an adult and make same mistake such as that child could be in such as home life or place where family or 'let us people committing crime of was are the young person first crime these factor can cause the young person can't help the young people understand there mistake and make great disin such as both youth justice system and the adult system. 2 youth justice system differ from the adult system as is because both aim to punishment and rehabilitation but in different engagement a child who crime serious depend of the a offence defend can take to youth court and choose and justice send to secure justice but depends on there age after that 18 they go to jail. both have effective was to punishment and rehabilitation and a more effective punishment for young offender would be rehabilitation as a still punishment has for there crime but there from then mistake for example if child commite a crime a crime one year and is for then the consequence of it is there old they are less likely to crime a crime in conclusion i still belive that young offender should be punishe the same as adult this because as young can can commit dangerous and serious crime as well

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You have correctly structured your answer to look at both sides of the argument. You argue FOR treating young people the same and then use 'however' to introduce arguments AGAINST it.
Relevant Knowledge: You included some relevant knowledge, such as the age of criminal responsibility (10) and the existence of the Youth Court, showing you understand the basics of the youth justice system.
Clear Judgement: You provided a clear final judgement in your conclusion, stating which side of the argument you ultimately agree with.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are often simple statements. To improve, add specific details or examples. For instance, when you mention 'home life', you could explain *how* this affects a young person's decision-making (e.g., pressure from gangs, lack of positive role models).
Use Key Terminology: Incorporate specific Citizenship terms to make your arguments more precise. Instead of just 'rehabilitation', you could mention 'Youth Offending Teams' (YOTs) or 'restorative justice' to show deeper knowledge.
Substantiate Your Judgement: Your conclusion states your opinion but doesn't explain *why* you chose it over the counter-arguments. A strong judgement weighs up both sides, explaining why one is more convincing than the other.
Sentence Clarity: Some of your sentences are long and difficult to follow. Try reading your work aloud to check it makes sense. Breaking down long ideas into shorter, clearer sentences will make your arguments much more powerful.

Candidate 60928

Word Count: ~492 words

However some may argue that if the same crime is committed the same punishment and sentence should be given to both because. If an adult killed a person and a young adult also killed a person they should get the same sentence because they both know what right and wrong. However some young people maybe still learning and some may have mental illness and maybe under pressure as there are pressure groups. Also the age of responsibility is 10 and unless something is wrong in their head they should know what right and wrong. In contrast you may be discriminated and victimised because there is for example a crime takes place and because you happen to be at the scene, you could get set up and a person could pass the blame on to you and make it seem as if you killed the person this can smudge the blood in your name and act as if you are the one who has committed the crime. Overall I believe that young adults and adults should have the same sentence because the age of responsibility is 10 and if both ages should know what right from wrong so they should [PAGE BREAK] I agree because young people have a different mindset and are vunerable and chance to mp they commit a crime even major and an adult also commit a major crime, the adult should know better as they are underage and shouldnt be treated the same way as an adult. If they commited a crime. Hence why we have an adult Jail and a Juvinile. This may be cause young people might be associated with the old people due to lack of thinking when there lead them to be easily influenced to any illegal acts. However they should also follow the youth justice system and should follow the appropriate amount aged when is 10 years old - This is a pretty tricky topic to speak about and discuss because although the justice system justly seems fair and others may think that others and youth should be treated the same as in sentence and punishment but I disagree and believe they shouldnt be treated the same as their minds are still developing [PAGE BREAK] there to be further more to an extent this topic can be seen as a varying topic as you could be framed and could be lured into something the crime but it might not actually been you. Nevertheless talk about the age of responsibility again the age of responsibility is 10 and they the (young people) should own up to their actions and mistakes to either the Judge or police because once you trial something of which you get an interview you will be questioned but that maybe in the wrong and you is in the right so you won't have evidence to prove you didn't commit anything which can be problematic. Overall adults have young adults should be given the same punishment and sentence if it means the same because if they aren't treated the same young people may take advantage and take continue committing these crimes as they may think the consequences won't be as great / serious as old adults further

Strengths

Addresses Both Sides: You understand that a 'How far do you agree?' question requires you to explore arguments for and against the statement. You correctly present reasons why young people should be treated the same, and reasons why they should be treated differently.
Uses Key Knowledge: You correctly identify and use the age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales (10 years old) as a central part of your argument.
Attempts a Judgement: You try to give your own opinion and weigh up the arguments by using phrases like "Overall I believe..." and "I disagree...". This is the first step towards strong evaluation (AO3).

Targets

Develop a Consistent Judgement: Your conclusion changes between paragraphs. Decide on your main argument at the start and ensure every point you make helps to build towards that final, consistent judgement. Use phrases like "While some may argue X, it is more convincing that Y because..." to show you are weighing up points to support one overall view.
Add Specific Evidence (Depth): You repeat the 'age of responsibility' point. To improve, add more specific evidence. For example, when arguing they should be treated differently, you could mention brain development (the prefrontal cortex), the aims of the youth justice system (rehabilitation), or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Expand Your Range of Arguments (Breadth): Think about the wider impact. For the 'agree' side, you could discuss the rights of victims or the need to protect the public. For the 'disagree' side, you could mention the 'school of crime' effect, where putting young people in adult prisons increases reoffending.
Improve Clarity and Structure: Plan your paragraphs before you write. Each paragraph should make one clear point, explain it with evidence, and link it back to the question (the P.E.E. method: Point, Evidence, Explain).

Candidate 61028

Word Count: ~445 words

At a certain extent personally on my view, young people (under 18) arent fully Mature to process well on what is happening to them, it does depend on the severity of the crime committed the human Brain isnt even fully Mature until 25. Also, Most young people have reasons on why they have possibly chose them to commit the crime Because young people are influenced quite easily which this makes it easier for older people to take advantage of them. However some young people have Mental illnesses which may have played as a factor on why they have committed the crime that does not excuse them from facing consequences. Adults are way more matured and have more experience than younger people, therefore they are aware of what they are doing. The Youth Justice System is specifically designed to keep young people safe and make sure they face fair consequences from what they committed. however, in my view to a certain extent I think that rehabilitation would be for more effective than punishment because some young people have reasons on why they have committed the crime for example some 14 year old boy is in a gang so he can get money as it is a source of income for his family getting young people help and support is far more effective, which will slowly turn them into an better person, they can still learn that what they have done is illegal and has consequences to it. However, as I stated they still have to face a form of punishment for the actions it depends on how severe it was. however some youths, it solely depends on how much offenses they have committed and their criminal history, so some do not deserve such lenient treatment, specifically it will make them think that they have gotten away with it and therefore, reoffend again. All young people have different brains and abilities and way of thinking. Also, within the adult justice system there are more harsher methods of punishment compared to the youth justice system obviously if they deem that a child or teenager is considered "too dangerous" by society and authorities, then for safety they should not be set free on any circumstances, which this should also apply for adults aswell. For example in the 1993 James Bulger case where 2 boys abducted a 2 year old named James Bulger and threw him on a train track Jon Venables and Robert. They were both 10 years old when they committed the crime, therefore they faced life in prison and both of their identities have been changed. This case angered the majority of UK society, that they made the age for criminal responsibility at 10 years old. My conclusion overall is that the youth should not be treated the same as adults due to their age and maturity, however they should still face punishments for the crimes they have committed. if some are mentally ill, or had trauma etc, then they deserve rehabilitation because there are reasons on behind why they have committed that crime.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You have built a well-balanced argument, exploring viewpoints on both sides of the debate. This is essential for reaching Level 3 and above.
Clear Judgement: Your conclusion provides a clear and substantiated judgement, directly answering the question while acknowledging the complexity of the issue.
Use of Evidence: You effectively used the James Bulger case and the concept of brain development to support your points, which adds weight to your argument.

Targets

Develop Key Terminology: Incorporate specific Citizenship terms like 'rehabilitation', 'deterrent', 'reoffending', and 'public protection' more explicitly to add analytical depth to your points.
Introduce Legal Frameworks: To reach the top level, refer to key legal principles or documents. For instance, mentioning the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) would have strongly supported your argument for treating young people differently.
Expand Range of Evidence: While the Bulger case is powerful, broaden your evidence. You could discuss the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) or the concept of restorative justice to show a deeper understanding of the youth justice system.
Refine Sentence Structure: Some sentences are very long and contain multiple ideas. Try to break them down into shorter, clearer sentences to make your points more impactful.

Candidate 72189

Word Count: ~336 words

I disagree with this statement to a certain extent. This is because of the rule of law which means that everyone is equal before the no matter ace. some people may disagree with this statement and say that children should be treated differently in the eyes of the law because of their age. But I disagree with this stat as children should still no right from wrong and be punished accordingly for their actions. This is further backed up as the criminal age of responsibility so if the child is above the age of 10 they should be able to take responsibility for their own actions and should not be punished more leniably than any adult. Another reason why I agree with this statement is because setting harsher sentences to young children deters other children from committing the same crimes as the punishment is more severe The punishment being more severe is effective for deterring children would be because children are more likely to commit crimes if they know they would be able to get off with a lighter punishment. Some people may argue that giving a more severe punishment is not an effective way of punishing children as it is ruining the future of the younger generation but I disagree with this statement as putting young people off crime ensures a better future for them and a safer society. However it can also be argued that young people who commit serious crimes should not be treated in the same way as adults and it can be argued that more restorative justice should be used. This is important for the children as if more restorative justice is used the children can be taught right from wrong which makes it so that they are less likely to commit crimes later on in life and so that they can understand the consequences of their actions at a much earlier age. Adding onto this children and adults do not have the same rights so giving them the same punishment would go against the convention of the rights of a child. This is an important reason to why their punishments should not be the same as children should be respected. In conclusion although arguments can be made against young people and adults having the same punishments I still believe that they should as it makes young people more careful about their actions

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You have successfully argued both for and against the statement, which is essential for a high-level response. You considered deterrence on one side, and restorative justice and children's rights on the other.
Use of Specific Knowledge: You effectively used key concepts like the 'age of criminal responsibility' and the 'UN Convention on the Rights of a Child' to support your points. This adds weight and credibility to your arguments.
Clear Judgement: Your conclusion is effective because it directly answers the question, weighs up the two sides, and comes to a final, substantiated decision.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good, but they need more detail. For example, when you mention the UNCRC, explain *why* children require special rights in the justice system (e.g., lack of maturity, developing brain, capacity for rehabilitation). This adds analytical depth.
Use More Precise Terminology: To sound more like an expert, try to use more specific terms. Instead of "get off with a lighter punishment," you could use "receive a more lenient sentence" or "be eligible for non-custodial options."
Refine Conceptual Understanding: Your use of the 'rule of law' was slightly inaccurate. The principle means no one is *above* the law, but it doesn't mean everyone is treated *identically* by it. The justice system has different tracks for different groups (e.g., Youth Courts). Applying concepts with precision is a key skill.
Explain the 'How' and 'Why': When you introduce a concept like restorative justice, briefly explain *how* it works (e.g. victim-offender meetings) and *why* it is considered effective for young people (e.g. focuses on repairing harm and rehabilitation).

Candidate 79162

Word Count: ~281 words

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You effectively explore arguments both for and against the statement, which is crucial for a "How far do you agree?" question.
Clear Judgement: You state your overall opinion at the beginning ("I agree to an extent") and provide a clear, supported conclusion at the end.
Use of Concepts: You correctly identify and use key citizenship concepts like 'deterrence', 'rehabilitation', and 'right to life' to build your arguments.

Targets

Develop with Specific Evidence: Your point about the "Jamy border case" (the James Bulger case) is a good start, but to make it stronger, you need to use the correct names and details. Using precise evidence makes your argument more credible.
Use Specialist Terminology: To add depth, include key terms from the youth justice system. For example, when discussing rehabilitation, you could mention 'Youth Offending Teams' (YOTs) or 'restorative justice'.
Deepen Analysis of Concepts: When you mention that a "minor's mind is not fully developed," you could deepen this by referring to scientific evidence about the development of the prefrontal cortex, which controls impulse and decision-making.
Improve Spelling and Grammar: While not marked down for SPaG, errors like "there" instead of "their" or "they're", and "perpus" for "purpose", can distract the reader. Proofreading your work will make it clearer and more professional.

Candidate 86091

Word Count: ~230 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You start your answer with a clear statement of your opinion ("I disagree..."), which is a great way to structure a 'how far do you agree' essay.
Relevant 'Disagree' Arguments: You correctly identify that young people's developing minds and their susceptibility to influence (from parents or the media) are key reasons why they might be treated differently in the justice system.

Targets

Balance Both Sides: Your argument against treating young people like adults is much stronger than your argument for it. To reach the higher levels, you must explain the 'agree' side with equal clarity and detail. Consider why someone might argue for equal treatment (e.g., justice for victims, public safety).
Focus on 'Serious Crimes': The question specifies "serious crimes". Your examples in the second paragraph, like "stealing sweets", are not serious crimes and weaken your argument. Use examples that match the question's focus, such as robbery, assault, or murder.
Use Specific Knowledge: To add depth, include specific concepts from your Citizenship studies. For example, you could mention the age of criminal responsibility (10 in England), the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (Article 40).
Clarity of Expression: Some of your sentences are long and difficult to understand. Try to write in shorter, clearer sentences to make your points more powerful and precise.

Overall Class Weaknesses & Models

1. Undeveloped Arguments: Students frequently stated a point (e.g., "young people's brains are different") but failed to explain *why* this was relevant or *how* it impacted their culpability for a serious crime. They missed the analytical step of linking a point to the question.
👉 Model: "While a 16-year-old can consent to medical treatment, their still-developing prefrontal cortex means they may not fully appreciate the long-term consequences of a serious crime, which is why the justice system prioritises rehabilitation over pure retribution."
2. Imprecise Terminology: Many essays used vague, everyday language ("taught not to do it again," "special courts," "getting into trouble") instead of specific Citizenship vocabulary, which limited the analytical depth of their arguments and failed to demonstrate expert knowledge.
👉 Model: "Treating young offenders differently is not about being 'soft'; it reflects a focus on rehabilitation over retribution, often managed by Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) to reduce recidivism."
3. Lack of Specific Evidence: Arguments were often based on generalisations rather than being supported by concrete facts, legal frameworks, or scientific concepts. This made points sound like opinions rather than substantiated arguments.
👉 Model: "The UK's approach is underpinned by international law, such as the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), which explicitly states that the arrest, detention or imprisonment of a child shall be used only as a measure of last resort."
4. Unsubstantiated Judgements: Conclusions were often simple statements of opinion or a summary of points, rather than a final, reasoned judgement that weighed up the arguments from both sides before explaining why one was more convincing than the other.
👉 Model: "On balance, although the principle of equal justice for victims is paramount, the evidence on neuroscientific development is more persuasive; therefore, young people who commit serious crimes should not be treated *exactly* the same as adults, as their capacity for reform is significantly greater."

Teacher Next Steps

1. The 'Why?' Chain Drill: To address undeveloped arguments, put a simple statement on the board (e.g., "Young people are more easily influenced by others."). In pairs, students must write a chain of three sentences, each building on the last to explain the 'how' and 'why' (e.g., "This means that... which leads to... therefore..."). This forces them to develop a line of reasoning.
2. Terminology Translator: To improve use of key terms, give students a list of 5 vague phrases taken from their essays (e.g., "get a lighter punishment," "taught not to do it again," "the people who help young criminals"). In pairs, they have 5 minutes to 'translate' these into precise Citizenship terms (e.g., "receive a non-custodial sentence," "focus on rehabilitation," "Youth Offending Teams").
3. Evidence Scavenger Hunt: To fix the lack of evidence, provide a one-page fact sheet on the youth justice system. In groups, students have 5 minutes to find and list 3 specific pieces of evidence (a law, a statistic, a key concept) they could use in this essay. For example: "The age of criminal responsibility is 10," "The UNCRC," "The prefrontal cortex finishes developing in the mid-20s."
4. Conclusion Deconstruction: To strengthen judgements, show the class one weak and one strong model conclusion. In pairs, students must annotate the strong one to identify its three key features: 1) a clear judgement phrase (e.g., "On balance..."), 2) a clause that weighs up both sides ("Although X..."), and 3) a final reason based on evidence ("...Y is more persuasive because...").

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Model Answer (Exemplar)

📋 The Question & Indicative Content

📌 Indicative Content — arguments you could have used

✅ Arguments FOR the statement (treat young serious offenders the same as adults)

❌ Arguments AGAINST the statement (young offenders should be treated differently)

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Overall Class Weaknesses & Models

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