Feedback Focussing on Evaluation — 15 Marker: 'Young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system.' How far do you agree?

Model Answer (Exemplar)

Evaluation Score: 15/15

Word Count: ~420 words (400–450 words are typical for a strong 15-mark response — aim for breadth and depth on both sides)

Strong, measured opening — disagrees to a large extent rather than absolutely, which immediately signals evaluative thinking and avoids a one-sided trap.I disagree to a large extent with the view that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system. Introduces the key scientific reason immediately — brain development. Anchors the whole argument in evidence from the outset.This is primarily because scientific research demonstrates that the human brain, particularly (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control) which governs impulse control and risk assessment, continues to develop well into the mid-twenties. It is therefore unreasonable to hold young people to the same standard of criminal responsibility as fully developed adults. Concedes the opposing side within the introduction — acknowledges victim justice is a real concern. This two-sidedness in the opening paragraph is a hallmark of Level 4 writing.However, I accept that victims of serious crimes deserve justice regardless of the offender's age, and this must be considered carefully. Develops the UNCRC argument with specific legal detail — Article 40 is named, not just vaguely referenced. This shows strong subject knowledge.A key reason why young offenders should be treated differently is the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Under Article 40, the UK is legally obliged to treat children accused of crimes in a way that promotes their dignity and rehabilitation, not purely their punishment. The youth justice system already reflects this through Youth Offending Teams, which bring together social workers, probation officers and education specialists to address the root causes of offending. Immediately evaluates this point by conceding a limitation — YOTs are not always sufficient for the most serious crimes. Balanced, self-critical analysis.Despite this, one could argue that for the most serious offences such as murder or terrorism, YOTs and referral orders are simply insufficient to reflect the gravity of the harm caused. Introduces the racial disparity evidence — the 2023–24 statistics on custodial sentences and over-representation of Black and Mixed heritage children. A sophisticated, contemporary piece of evidence.Furthermore, evidence from 2023–24 shows that custodial sentences for children rose by 21%, the largest annual increase in a decade, and that Black and Mixed heritage children remain significantly over-represented at every stage of the youth justice system. Treating young offenders identically to adults would deepen these structural inequalities rather than address them. Evaluates this statistic fairly — acknowledges that statistics alone do not resolve the debate about what serious crimes deserve. Shows critical use of evidence.Whilst these statistics are alarming, it could be argued that they are a reason to reform sentencing practices generally, rather than a specific argument against treating serious young offenders as adults. Now engages directly with the FOR side — victim justice and public protection. This paragraph strengthens the answer by genuinely grappling with the strongest counterargument.There is, however, a genuine case for stricter treatment in the most extreme circumstances. Victims of serious crimes — such as the families of murder victims — may experience a profound sense of injustice if a young offender receives a significantly lighter sentence than an adult would for the same act. Communities also have a right to be protected from dangerous individuals regardless of their age, and long custodial sentences do provide public protection. Immediately counters this with the 'school of crime' research — shows that custodial sentences for young people increase reconviction rates, undermining the public protection argument.However, research into the so-called 'school of crime' effect demonstrates that young people who serve custodial sentences alongside adults have significantly higher reconviction rates. The very sentences intended to protect the public may, in the long run, produce more dangerous offenders. Clear, well-substantiated conclusion — disagrees in most cases but concedes a narrow exception for the most extreme offences. Judgement is specific and evidence-based. This earns Level 4.In conclusion, I disagree with the statement in the vast majority of cases. The combination of developing brain science, international legal obligations under the UNCRC, and evidence that rehabilitation outperforms punishment in reducing reoffending all point towards a distinct youth justice system being both fairer and more effective. I concede only that in the most extreme cases — where public safety is the paramount concern — closer alignment with adult sentencing may be justified, provided the welfare of the young person remains a central consideration.

Why this answer earned 15/15 (Level 4):

Convincing, sustained analysis of viewpoints on both sides — FOR and AGAINST arguments developed in equal depth
Arguments evaluated and critiqued throughout — limitations acknowledged even in points the writer supports
Specific, accurate evidence deployed: UNCRC Article 40, YOTs, 2023–24 custodial sentence statistics, racial disparity data, 'school of crime' research, (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control) development
A clear, nuanced, well-substantiated overall judgement — disagrees in most cases but concedes a narrow exception
Brain development used as a consistent thread to anchor the overall argument throughout

📋 The Question & Indicative Content

Q03 — Paper 1 | Section 3.8 Young People & the Justice System — 15 marks

"Young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults in the justice system."

How far do you agree with this view?
Give reasons for your opinion, showing that you have considered different views on the topic.
In your answer, you could consider: how the youth justice system differs from the adult system and why; whether rehabilitation or punishment is the more effective approach for young offenders.

📌 Indicative Content — arguments you could have used

These are not the only valid points — any well-reasoned argument about the youth justice system is creditworthy.

✅ Arguments FOR the statement (treat young serious offenders the same as adults)

Victims of serious crimes deserve equal justice regardless of the offender's age — the harm caused is no less real
Young people who commit serious crimes must face consequences that reflect the gravity of their actions; otherwise the law loses credibility as a deterrent
Adult sentences protect the public from dangerous individuals, regardless of age
Treating young offenders differently may create a perception of unfairness and undermine public confidence in the justice system
Age should not be a blanket shield — maturity varies and some young offenders fully understand the consequences of their actions
Some countries try older teenagers as adults for the most serious offences (e.g. homicide), reflecting the severity of harm caused

❌ Arguments AGAINST the statement (young offenders should be treated differently)

The brain continues developing into the mid-twenties — young people have reduced impulse control and risk-awareness, making full criminal responsibility inappropriate
The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC, Article 40) obliges courts to treat children's welfare and rehabilitation as a primary consideration
Research shows rehabilitation is more effective than punishment at reducing reoffending among young people
Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), referral orders and restorative justice already address root causes of offending
Custodial sentences expose young people to more serious criminals — the 'school of crime' effect increases reoffending
In 2023–24 custodial sentences for children rose 21%; Black and Mixed heritage children remain significantly over-represented — harsher sentencing would deepen structural inequality
England & Wales' age of criminal responsibility (10) is already among the lowest in Europe — identical adult treatment would extend this outlier position

📊 Mark Scheme Level Descriptors

Level	Marks	What it looks like
4	12–15	Convincing and sustained analysis of both sides. Reasoned, coherent arguments showing good breadth and depth. A well-substantiated overall judgement.
3	8–11	Analysis of both sides evident but unsustained. Reasoned arguments present. A judgement given, although may not be fully evidenced.
2	4–7	Some analysis but focused mainly on one side. Some reasoning and coherence. A judgement given with limited substantiation.
1	1–3	Simple/generalised answer. Little analysis. Undeveloped, lacking reasoned arguments. Judgement missing or asserted without support.
0	0	No rewardable material.

Candidate 0274

Word Count: ~180 words

Initially younger People tend to Suffer from more Problems than adults, Peer pressure and the pressure of Society (trying to fit in). Compared to adults Younger individuals brains haven't efficiently developed otherwise an adults brain is mostly more developed as adults have more rounded consciousness onto how they carry themself. When younger People commit a crime most cases are due to they've been apart of a group of other younger/older individuals that do illegal things that harm the Society. Thats why I agree with this statement due to the fact that young people have not enough consciousness on what they are doing. Adults on the other hand know what the consequences are when doing something wrong which could lead to a fine or prosecution. Younger people under the age of 18 are still considered as a "child" as they still are currently receiving Primary and Secondary education sending them to prison for the same sentences as an adult could ruin their chances of going to sixth form or even university. An Alternatively on the other hand an outcome of a younger offender commiting a crime could be rehabilitation. Rehabilitation works more better than sitting a sentence. Rehabilitation could be used for younger offenders that have been pushed in a wrong direction and could help them reflect on what they did and how they could overcome the trauma that pushed them to do the Act. However many more may argue that young people should receive the same treatment as an adult as once you commit an offence theres no going back. And as long you knew you were doing your actions will find a way of coming back to you. Especially as you turn the age of 16 you have the right to start working if you please to. By that point you should know whats right and you could be considered as an adult as no longer attend school anymore and you can choose where you want your journey to go in terms of education. This is a big responsibility for people 16-17 and taking on this responsibility could mean you can take responsibility for your actions and serve to the consequences for the

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You have successfully structured your answer to look at both sides of the argument, which is essential for reaching the higher levels in a 'How far do you agree?' question.
Focus on Rehabilitation: Your points about rehabilitation and the negative impact of prison on a young person's future are well-made and central to the debate on youth justice.

Targets

Clarify Your Judgement: Your opening judgement was confusing. You said you 'agree' with the statement but then gave reasons to disagree. Ensure your final judgement clearly states your position (e.g., "I disagree to a large extent...") and is consistently supported by your main arguments.
Add Specific Evidence: To add depth, include specific knowledge. For example, you could mention the age of criminal responsibility (10 in England), the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (Article 40).
Develop Both Sides Equally: Your argument for treating young people differently was more developed. To improve, add more detail to the 'agree' side, such as the need for justice for victims or the idea that harsh sentences act as a deterrent to protect society.
Use Evaluative Language: To show you are weighing up arguments, use phrases like "The most compelling argument is...", "However, this viewpoint is limited because...", or "On balance...".

Candidate 12906

Word Count: ~405 words

Plans - Mitigating/aggravating factors rule of law Page 1 I mostly disagree with this statement due to many factors. Young people should not be treated equally to adults in the justice system, due to mitigating and aggravating factors. Their young age is a strong mitigating factor as it shows lack of maturity and gives good conclusion making meaning that they require guidance on their actions may have not been deliberate. This means that their sentence should be reduced. The youth justice system is also vastly different from the adult justice system, as youth courts encourage anonymity as well as a nice environment to encourage children to speak, compared to the adult's court being strict and blunt. This difference symbolises the difference in mindset between the two groups, and how children are seen as more innocent. Youth offenders also cannot be sent to prison, so it would not be fair for them to get a sentence just as jointly, but go to a different punishment. This means that rehabilitation is a better option for youth offenders, and also why they should not be treated equally to adults. Some may agree with this statement as the rule of law, which is a key UK value, states equality before the law, so when sticking to this value, youth offenders should theoretically be treated equally before the law as no one is above the law due to the rule of law. Furthermore, youth offenders should be treated equally to the adults in the justice system as judges should be impartial as well as non-biased, even if the offender is under age, as they do not deserve any special Page 2 treatment. Another argument as to why youth offenders should be treated the same as adults, is as stated by the ECHR (European convention on human rights), or the human rights act of 1991, everyone has a right to a free trial, and treating a few groups differently due to their age could be seen as a violation of this human right. This means that in certain ways they should be forced to have the same justice system. Our age is also a protected characteristic in the UK, so it would be irresponsible to treat different age groups differently. Overall, I disagree with this statement about how young people should be due to these various reasons.

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You successfully structured your answer to address both sides of the argument ('for' and 'against'), which is essential for a high-level response.
Specific Knowledge (Youth Justice): You showed good knowledge of the youth justice system, correctly identifying differences like the use of anonymity, a different court environment, and the focus on rehabilitation.
Use of Key Concepts: You effectively used core Citizenship concepts like 'mitigating factors' and the 'rule of law' to build and structure your arguments.

Targets

Develop Your Judgement: Your conclusion states your opinion but doesn't explain *why* your 'disagree' arguments are more convincing than the 'agree' arguments. Try using evaluative language like: "While the rule of law is a vital principle, it is outweighed by the need for rehabilitation because..."
Precise Knowledge Application: Be careful when using legal acts. The Human Rights Act was 1998, and the Equality Act allows for different treatment by age if it's justified. Focus on stronger arguments for the 'agree' side, such as the victim's right to justice or the need for public protection.
Add More Evidential Depth: To elevate your analysis, include more specific evidence. For example, when discussing rehabilitation, you could mention Youth Offending Teams (YOTs). When discussing age, you could state that the age of criminal responsibility in England is 10.
Refine Terminology: You wrote that youth offenders "cannot be sent to prison." While they don't go to adult prisons, they can receive custodial sentences in places like Young Offender Institutions. Using precise terms strengthens your answer.

Candidate 18720

Word Count: ~248 words

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You effectively argue both for and against the statement, which is essential for reaching the higher levels. You correctly identified that victims' rights are a key reason for harsher sentences.
Use of Evidence: You have included some good, specific knowledge, such as the existence of Youth Courts and the importance of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC). This makes your argument more convincing.
Clear Judgement: You provide a clear conclusion at the end of your answer which directly addresses the question and is supported by the points you made earlier.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good but often undeveloped. For example, when you mention "brains that are still developing," explain *why* this matters (e.g., it affects impulse control and understanding of consequences). This is called adding depth.
Use 'PEEL' Structure: To help add depth, try using a Point, Evidence, Explain, Link structure. Make a point, support it with a fact (Evidence), explain its importance (Explain), and link it back to the question (Link).
Explain Key Terminology: When you use a term like 'rehabilitation', briefly explain what it means and *why* it's considered more effective for young people (e.g., it addresses the root causes of offending to prevent future crime).
Proofread for Accuracy: Be careful with common spelling errors like 'their' (belonging to them) vs. 'there' (a place) and 'seperated' (separated). While you don't lose marks for this in Citizenship, clear writing makes your argument stronger.

Candidate 20791

Word Count: ~323 words

On one hand, it could be argued that young offenders should be treated the same as adult offenders over the age of 18 due to the risk of a young person reoffending as a result of a more lenient sentence. This could have many negative effects on society, such as an general increase in reoffending rates and a general increase in crime rate, as not only are more lenient sentences an opportunity for young criminals to commit more crimes and less consequences, but also fail in the goal to prevent young people offending in the first place. This proves that harsher, more even sentencing for young people is necessary to uphold the aims of prosecution, which are to deter potential criminals, protect the public and prevent reoffending. However, whilst this is a strong point, it fails to take into account the fact that there are various programs for young offenders which are designed to fulfill these aims, such as Youth Offending Teams, detentions which can serve a similar purpose to prison sentences and rehabilitation orders. Additionally, those programs are largely successful in tackling the root causes of crime typically better than a prison sentence would, therefore more effectively reducing the risk of reoffending. On the other hand, it could be argued that young offenders should not be treated the same as adults in the justice system, due to the various laws and acts protecting the rights of children. Some examples of this are the Crime and Disorder Act 1998 and the UN Convention on the rights of the child. These rules are in place to recognise the vulnerability of children as well as the lack of maturity they have, leading to making impulsive decisions. The Crime and Disorder Act in particular is designed to prevent reoffending, eliminating the risk of reoffending due to a more lenient sentence. Those acts and laws are international and deserve to be recognised by the justice system. Whilst this is a good point, it fails to understand the free will and competence a child has to commit a crime. Overall, I believe that young offenders should not be sentenced the same as adults, due to the fact that.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You have successfully argued both sides of the debate, which is essential for a 'How far do you agree?' question.
Specific Knowledge: You have included specific and relevant evidence, such as 'Youth Offending Teams' and the 'UN Convention on the rights of the child', to support your points.
Effective Evaluation: You show good evaluative skill by using phrases like "However, whilst this is a strong point..." to weigh up the arguments within your paragraphs.

Targets

Complete Your Conclusion: Your final sentence is incomplete. A strong conclusion must clearly state your judgement and briefly summarise the main reason(s) for it, based on the arguments you have already made.
Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good, but could be stronger with more depth. For example, when mentioning the 'lack of maturity', you could link this to scientific evidence about the development of (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control) in teenagers.
Widen Your Range of Arguments (Breadth): To reach the top marks, try to include a wider range of arguments. For the 'agree' side, you could discuss the rights of victims. For the 'disagree' side, you could mention the 'school of crime' effect or racial disparities in the youth justice system.

Candidate 20896

Word Count: ~528 words

Page 1 Rule of law youth justic UNCRC Family Education Overall I mainly Disagree with the statement above and believe that young people who commit serious crimes shouldn't be treated the same as adults in the justice system because of the idea that they aren't fully developed yet. The age of responsibility for legal crimes is at 10 years old where you can be tried on sentence. At 10 years of age children haven't even left elementary education yet but can still face time for their actions. All of childrens actions are based of what their parents have taught them - As the legal system states majority of information and behavioural norms are mainly attributed they collect are due to exposure from their parents (All the way up to adolescence). Parents should be held accountable for their children's actions up to the point where they become teenagers. In my opinion youth courts are special in a sense that they do not involve a jury, if there parents (primarily because they are too young). No matter how heinous or serious a crime is, no matter sentence by magistrate, children are continually developing all the way up to their 20's with their brains being an example of this. Children's ideologies (and bone mass) solidify later into their youthful lives. So they still have the ability to rehabilitate. This is a good point because it highlights and demonstrates how children are constantly growing and changing so trialling a child who doesn't know any better like a sane adult is simply unfair. Page 2 Bryan Page 2 However, on the other hand somebody may agree that young people who commit serious crimes should be charged as adults in the justice system because of the rule of law. Ever since the 1200's since the magna carta was originally signed the rule of law has been a concept that has prevailed through the world. The magna carta sets rules on the king limiting his power and making him subject to the law just as much as anyone else. The rule of law states that nobody is above the law and everyone can be held accountable for their actions. Letting young adults get off scott free is going against the justice system. We are currently. Everybody needs to feel the full force of the law and changing this simply because somebody is a mere year younger than somebody else is soft and can leave an array of problems. An example: For instance, letting people get off easy will not only lead them to reoffend but it will also leave others to do the same. This is a good point as it shows us how giving younger people an easy way out can lead to issues in the future. However it doesn't take into the account that children aren't fully developed and may not possess malicious intent like an older counterpart. Page 3 Page 3 Finally, overall I believe that young people who commit serious crimes shouldn't be treated like adults due to the UNCRC. The UNCRC or united nations conventions of rights of a child dictates all the rights of a child. It contains ideas about children's rights to attend a home or education etc. It highlights how children can't be fully held accountable for all actions because of their age. Yes, for serious crimes they need to be punished however children should be rehabilitated rather than trapping them away to protect society as they can go on and live with their whole lives ahead of them. This is a good point as it highlights how children's demeanor can still change and learn from their previous mistakes of society. Everyone makes mistakes. especially those who know no better.

Strengths

Clear Structure: You have a well-structured essay, presenting one side, then the other, before reaching a final, supported judgement. This makes your argument easy to follow.
Good Use of Concepts: You correctly identify and apply key Citizenship concepts, including the Rule of Law, the age of criminal responsibility, and the UNCRC, to support your arguments.
Sustained Judgement: Your personal viewpoint is clear from the start and you return to it in your conclusion, successfully using your arguments to substantiate it.

Targets

Develop Depth with Specific Evidence: Your points are good, but they need more specific evidence. For example, when discussing the UNCRC, you could name Article 40 which deals directly with juvenile justice. When discussing brain development, you could mention (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control).
Strengthen Your 'For' Argument: Your argument *for* treating young people like adults is less developed than your 'against' argument. To make it stronger, consider the perspective of victims or the need for the justice system to act as a deterrent to protect the public.
Refine Evaluative Language: Move beyond phrases like "This is a good point because...". Instead, use more analytical language to weigh the arguments against each other, such as "A more significant factor, however, is..." or "While this argument is compelling, it fails to consider...".
Improve Expression and Terminology: Some phrasing is informal ("get off scott free", "soft"). Try to use more formal, subject-specific language. For example, instead of "trapping them away to protect society," you could discuss "custodial sentences for the purpose of public protection."

Candidate 21687

Word Count: ~180 words

Whilst some may argue that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated exactly the same way as adults in the justice system, I disagree as in the crime and disorder act 1998 it states children under 16 shouldn't be given the same bail as adults as some may have had less a tough background and other reasons for why they committed the crime. Furthermore I disagree as most young people are most likely to have mitigating factors that could effect deeply as their brains aren't as developed as adults, meaning their understanding to situations isn't as good as an adult. However someone could argue that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated the exact way as adults as in the human rights act 1998 article 7 it states equality before the law, this applies no matter the age as long as someone committed a serious crime they should be punished the same way. In addition the rule of law states the same thing further illustrating how important equality is to the law. But on the hand you can also argue that it is young offenders are treated in the justice system is fair as stuff like the youth court and rehabilitation centers are placed in order to reduce the chance of reoffending and removes the childs privacy. In addition I also disagree with the statement as whilst rehabilitation may not seem to be a strong or harsh punishment it ensures young offenders won't reoffend by helping them develop skills like improve individual interests and morality. An example of where we see this is in restorative justice as it gives the chance for the offender to talk to the victim which could bring peace to the victim. But some may view these programs as useless as even if the victim and the offender do have a restorative justice successfully the victim has been stripped of their sense of security and safety, which is something no talk can ever get back. Furthermore young offenders are to be exclusion from school which could leave them at a disadvantage and it goes against the human rights act as it challenges the right to an education. This could be a reason for why young people should be treated the same as adults in the justice system as at least in some prisons they get an education. So in conclusion it ultimately depends on how you feel about the justice system as it has tried to keep things fair and equal for all ages, but I mainly disagree with the statement as everyone deserves a second chance and if young offenders were to go through the same process as adults I believe the crime rate would be lower as the harsh punishment would show them that there is no second chances and that you should be smarter with your choices.

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, which is essential for reaching the higher levels. You present points for why young people should be treated differently and also why they could be treated the same.
Use of Specific Knowledge: You have included specific examples and pieces of legislation to support your points, such as the 'Crime and Disorder Act 1998', 'restorative justice', and the 'Youth Court'. This shows good subject knowledge.

Targets

Consistent Judgement: Your final sentence contradicted your main argument. Ensure your conclusion clearly summarises your main viewpoint and is supported by the evidence you've already presented. Avoid introducing new, conflicting ideas at the end.
Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good, but they need more detail. For example, when you mention brain development, explain *how* this affects a young person's decision-making (e.g., poor impulse control, less ability to foresee consequences). This adds depth.
Check Factual Accuracy: You mentioned the Human Rights Act Article 7 for 'equality before the law'. While the principle is relevant, Article 7 is about 'No punishment without law'. Being precise with your evidence makes your arguments stronger.
Clearer Expression: Some sentences are long and a little confusing (e.g., "it is young offenders are treated in the justice system is fair as stuff like..."). Try to use shorter, clearer sentences to make your arguments more direct and powerful.

Candidate 21769

Word Count: ~180 words

Although many arguments can be made regarding the youth justice system compared to the justice system, I mostly disagree with the statement. One reason I disagree with the statement is because committing a crime or not, a child is still a child, therefore their rights based on the UN convention on the rights of a child should and must be catered to, even in punishment. Additionally, a young person is still developing - therefore their ability to reason and understand right from wrong is limited compared to the average adult. Therefore, it would be unfair to trial them having different mental capacities. On the other hand, regardless of age, a crime is still a crime and will affect the person in the same way. For example, whether someone was under or over 18, if they commit a murder the grief to the victim's family will remain. Therefore it could be argued that it's only fair for the criminal to receive the same punishment for fair retribution. That being said, rehabilitation is a more & best suited way to help a child. This is because it is more beneficial for a younger person, as being sent to prison or receiving harsh punishment as such, can deeply impact a child's future, perhaps causing them to be used and and grow into the criminal lifestyle, perhaps even reoffending as adults. However, it can also be said that being more lenient on young people who commit crimes may be a bad idea as it may not deter children and young people from committing crimes as much as it should, seeing that the punishment is lesser or taken less seriously. Additionally, regardless of age, a person who is a danger to the rest of their community should not be left to walk freely. It can be argued that attempting to save one child's future should not be done at the expense of endangering a community. In conclusion, I disagree completely with the statement as young people's brains are still developing so they deserve second chances to grow and learn from their mistakes. Additionally, it is important to consider a child's future, not only so they are successful, but also to stop them reoffending in the future and becoming a threat to their community as adults. Lastly, the rights of a child must be considered at all stages throughout the process of the youth justice system, making it harder for young people and adults to be treated the same as their rights and needs are different.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You successfully explored arguments on both sides of the debate. You considered the need for retribution and public safety, as well as the developmental needs of young offenders. This is crucial for a "How far do you agree?" question.
Clear & Consistent Judgement: Your opinion is stated clearly in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. The arguments you present consistently support your overall stance, showing strong evaluative structure.
Use of Key Concepts: You correctly referenced important ideas like the 'UN Convention on the Rights of a Child' and 'rehabilitation', which demonstrates good subject knowledge and elevates your arguments.

Targets

Develop with Specific Evidence: To add depth, try to include more precise facts. For example, you could mention the age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales (10 years old) or name specific parts of the youth justice system, like Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) or the use of Restorative Justice.
Deepen Analysis of Concepts: When you mention a concept like rehabilitation, explain it further. How does it work? Why is it more effective than punishment for young people? You could contrast it with the 'school of crime' effect, where prisons can make reoffending more likely.
Refine Academic Language: Avoid informal phrasing like "more & best suited". Instead, use more formal language, such as "a more effective and appropriate approach". Also, proofread for small errors like the repeated "and" in the fourth paragraph to ensure your points are communicated clearly.
Consider Wider Context: To achieve top marks, you could briefly mention wider issues. For example, you could discuss the significant over-representation of Black and Mixed heritage children in the youth justice system, and how harsher, adult-style sentences might worsen this inequality.

Candidate 21770

Word Count: ~362 words

I partly agree with this statement as young people haven't fully developed so it may be they don't have full conciousness of their decision, however the only way to deter someone is to show the true consequence of their action and you should protect the majority of a citizen no matter the age should be locked up. One reason why I agree with the statement is because if they are truly a danger to society they should be punished as it's what will protect the majority which is one of the main sources of creating the justice system. For example if a 16 year old and a 50 year old both go murder someone they both have both caused and can cause the same threat to others, so there is no reason for a 16 year to get a lesser punishment just because of their age. As well as this them being treated the same would be a good deterrant to the 16 year old under 17 year olds to not reoffend as it will show the consequence of their action and that you will be punished forcing them to reflect on their actions. However you can still punish and force them to reflect on their actions with things like community service or lesser harsh punishments. One reason why I disagree with the statement is because a young person still has their whole life ahead of them to be taught taught more, understand the laws as well as develope more mentally so publically punishing a young person and an old person the same isn't fair as the older person is more aware, and if they are over the age of 25 their brain has fully developed so it would be said they have more of an understanding. As well as this I don't think that it's fair to punish them or have their case reported publically by the media as it means it will be harder to get a job in life as it because they will know after where a criminal and commited a crime meaning you are less likely to be hired causing major set back in life. I mostly agree

Strengths

Clear Structure & Judgement: You have structured your answer very effectively, arguing for one side, then the other, and maintaining a clear judgement throughout ('partly agree' / 'mostly agree').
Relevant Arguments: You make relevant arguments on both sides of the debate, effectively using concepts like deterrence, public protection, and brain development to support your points.
Good Use of Evaluation: You show good evaluative thinking by including a counter-argument within your first paragraph ("However you can still punish...with things like community service"), which adds nuance to your reasoning.

Targets

Incorporate Specific Evidence: To reach the top level, you need to use specific facts and evidence. For example, you could have mentioned the age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales (10) or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Develop Arguments with Depth: Expand on your points to show deeper understanding. When discussing brain development, you could name (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control) and explain its role in impulse control and decision-making.
Use Key Terminology: Integrate precise Citizenship terminology. Instead of just 'punishment', you could discuss different aims of sentencing like 'retribution', 'rehabilitation', or 'restorative justice' to add analytical depth.
Refine Sentence Structure: Some sentences are long and complex, which can make your argument harder to follow. Aim to break down long ideas into shorter, clearer sentences to improve the clarity of your writing.

Candidate 2a187

Word Count: ~28 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You have a clear and direct answer to the question, stating your final opinion without ambiguity.
Relevant Conclusion: Your conclusion directly addresses the topic of the question about different legal procedures for youth and adults.

Targets

Develop Both Sides: To move beyond Level 2, you must analyse arguments for *and* against the statement. For example, discuss why some people believe treating everyone the same ensures justice for victims.
Use Specific Evidence: Support your points with specific knowledge. You could mention the age of criminal responsibility (10), the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Structure Your Argument: An essay needs structure. Start by introducing the debate, then have paragraphs for each side of the argument, and finally, present your supported conclusion. Your answer was only a conclusion.
Explain Your Reasoning (P.E.E.L.): Use the Point, Evidence, Explain, Link structure. Make a point (e.g., young people are less mature), provide evidence (e.g., neuroscience on brain development), and explain *why* this means they should be treated differently.

Candidate 29187

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You begin with a decisive and unambiguous opinion ("I completely disagree"), which is essential for answering a 'How far do you agree?' question.
Relevant Argumentation: Your points about brain development and how young people are more easily influenced are both valid and directly relevant to the debate on youth justice.
Use of Concession: Your opening sentence acknowledges the other side of the argument ("however I can see why some may decide to agree"). This is a great starting point for building a more balanced and evaluative response.

Targets

Develop Both Sides of the Argument: Your top priority is to analyse the arguments *for* treating young offenders like adults, even if you disagree. Discuss ideas like justice for victims, public protection, or deterrence before explaining why your viewpoint is stronger. An essay that only covers one side cannot score above Level 2.
Use Specific Evidence: To add depth and credibility, incorporate specific knowledge. For example, you could mention the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), the age of criminal responsibility in England (10), or the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs).
Sustain Your Points: Your essay is quite brief and ends abruptly. Aim to develop each of your points with more detail, explanation, or examples to build a more sustained and convincing argument.
Structure for Balance: A good structure for this type of question is: 1) Briefly introduce the debate. 2) Explain the arguments for the statement. 3) Explain the arguments against the statement (your view). 4) Write a conclusion that weighs both sides and confirms your overall judgement.

Candidate 4280

Word Count: ~465 words

On the one hand, This statement is credible. This is because youth offenders between the age of 10-17 should be treated the same no matter their age. This is due to the principle of equality before the law which means everybody no matter their race, age etc should be recieve the same punishment. Also because youth offenders know they can get as little as a fine to as long as a 6 month sentance this may cause them to reoffend if they believe these punishments are worth commiting crime for. However what hasnt been brought to life is that young peoples minds are still developing and dont full develop until early 20s this should be put into consider-ation as their morals may not be as strange to strengthen this point mitigating factors should also be considered as people may be in a position where they have to commit crime e.g gang pressure, homelessness. on the other hand, I partially disagree with the statement this is because rehabilitation could work better than punishment. I think this because if young people feel understood and have a sense of community conection in their communi-ties they might acknowledge what they've did is wrong and change for the better. on the flip side punishment may be needed to protect the public rather than to protect a youth offender from going through the process of the justice system. The youth system ensures that offenders feel safe this is seen through the fact that there is no public gallery in a youth court or newsreporters compared to a criminal court it protects the rights of the child in court and takes into account their well being. young people shouldnt be treated the same as adults as although they are responsible for their actions there may be things like disabilities and mental illnesses which causes them to act a certain way. Contrastingly, young people should be treated the same as it prepares them for the future and teaches them that they can't act recklessly just because they are younger. children in other countries from the age of 10-17 are more matured and understand right and wrong so they should be held up to those standards. It is argued that 16 year olds should vote like they did in the scottish refferendum 2014. If they are trusted enough that the voting age is considered to be decreased they are capable of knowing right from wrong. However everyone should be given the opportun-ity to learn from their mistakes and pay back their community through community service which could be just as a effective as a 6 months in prison. youth clubs could also prevent people from commiting crime if they know they have someone to turn to for help. In conclusion I disagree more with the statement this is because young people are still learning right from wrong as they haven't fully developed they also have seperate laws to protect them and are still under authority of a gaurdian however gaurdians shouldnt be responsible for things such as paying fines for their child and the public deserves to be pret-ected from anyone who is seen as a possible threat.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You have successfully explored viewpoints on both sides of the argument, which is essential for a 'how far do you agree' question.
Clear Judgement: Your conclusion clearly states your overall opinion ("I disagree more with the statement") and backs it up with reasons you discussed earlier in the essay.
Use of Evaluative Language: You consistently use words and phrases like "However," "on the other hand," and "Contrastingly" to signal that you are weighing up different arguments.

Targets

Develop Depth with Specific Evidence: Your points are relevant but would be stronger if supported by specific facts or key terms. For example, when discussing children's rights in the justice system, you could name the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Improve Paragraph Structure (PEEL): Your paragraphs sometimes contain points from both sides of the argument. Try to dedicate each main body paragraph to one clear viewpoint (e.g., a paragraph FOR, a paragraph AGAINST). This creates a more sustained and coherent analysis.
Use Precise Terminology: To demonstrate expert knowledge, use more specific Citizenship vocabulary. Instead of "separate laws to protect them," refer to the "youth justice system," "Youth Courts," or the "age of criminal responsibility."
Refine Sentence Structure: Some of your sentences are very long and contain multiple, complex ideas. Practice breaking these down into shorter, clearer sentences to make your arguments more direct and easier for the examiner to follow.

Candidate 4404

Word Count: ~121 words

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You successfully address both sides of the debate ('for' and 'against'), which is crucial for reaching Level 3 and above.
Clear Judgement: You state your own opinion clearly at the beginning ("I disagree") and return to it at the end, which gives your answer a clear structure.
Relevant Core Ideas: You identify key concepts like the developing brain, the failure of rehabilitation for some, and the potential for rehabilitation to be a positive influence.

Targets

Use Specific Evidence: To move from making a point to analysing it, you need to use specific evidence. Instead of "youthful minds are still developing," you could mention that the (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control) (which controls decision-making) isn't fully developed until the mid-20s.
Explain Your Points (Depth): Don't just state an idea; explain *why* it matters. For example, when you mention rehabilitation, explain *what it involves* (e.g., restorative justice, support from Youth Offending Teams) and *why* it's more effective for young people.
Avoid Contradictions: Your final sentence was confusing because it said punishment both increases reoffending and deters crime. Try to be clearer when weighing up ideas. For example: "Although the primary aim of adult punishment is deterrence, this approach is often less effective for young people..."
Refine Terminology: Use more precise language. Instead of "more innocent," you could talk about "reduced culpability" or "a lack of maturity and impulse control." This makes your argument sound more academic and convincing.

Candidate 4431

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Balanced Structure: You have started to build a balanced argument by including points on both sides of the debate, using phrases like "However" and "On the other hand".
Relevant Knowledge: You correctly identify two key arguments against treating young offenders like adults: the use of restorative justice and the ongoing development of the teenage brain.

Targets

Develop Your Points (PEEL): Your points are currently just statements. To improve, use the PEEL structure (Point, Evidence, Explain, Link). For example, when you mention brain development, explain *how* this affects behaviour (e.g., impulse control) and link it back to why adult sentences are unsuitable.
Use Specific Evidence: Include precise details to strengthen your arguments. You could have mentioned the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (Article 40), the specific age of criminal responsibility (10 in England), or statistics on reoffending rates.
Reach a Substantiated Judgement: A "How far do you agree?" question requires a conclusion where you state your overall opinion and justify it using the arguments you have made. For example, "In conclusion, I disagree to a large extent because..."
Complete Your Answer: The response ends abruptly. Ensure you plan your time to write a full, coherent answer, including a clear introduction and a concluding judgement.

Candidate 4434

Word Count: ~233 words

Strengths

Balanced Structure: You successfully addressed arguments on both sides of the issue ('for' and 'against'), which is essential for a "How far do you agree?" question.
Supported Judgement: You gave a clear final opinion ("I more disagree") and supported it with a strong reason about a child's developing mind and social awareness.
Relevant Arguments: The points you raised about fairness, deterrence, and the effectiveness of rehabilitation are all highly relevant to the debate on youth justice.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good but need more explanation. For example, when you mention rehabilitation, you could explain *what* it involves (e.g., restorative justice, work with Youth Offending Teams) to show deeper understanding.
Use Specific Evidence (Breadth): Your answer needs more specific, accurate facts. For instance, you could mention the age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales (10), the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (Article 40), or the concept of the 'school of crime' effect in adult prisons.
Use Specialist Terminology: To achieve a higher mark, integrate key citizenship terms. For example, use 'recidivism' instead of 'rates of reoffends increasing', and 'deterrence' when discussing the fear of punishment.
Refine Expression: Some sentences could be clearer. For example, "Although there are many good points with this point, I more disagree with this point" could be rephrased more formally as: "While the argument for equal treatment has some merit, the case for a separate youth justice system is ultimately more compelling."

Candidate 4510

Word Count: ~400 words

This topic has been a continuing debate. While it is true that there should be equality before our legal system, it can also be argued that children are less mentally developed than adults, meaning that they don't fully understand the impact of their actions. On one hand, this statement is true because there should always be equality under our legal system. For example, the rule of law states that there should be 'equality before the law'. This shows that regardless of age, gender or ethnicity the severity of the punishment and the length of the sentence given should remain the same. However, it can also be argued that children aren't as mentally developed as adults. This means that adults are significantly more aware of the consequences of their actions. As a result, the law has to compensate for this inequality by delivering lighter sentences to the youth. Furthermore On the other hand, this statement is incorrect because young people the victims of these crimes, irrespective of age or gender will still remain severely physically and mentally hurt. For example, 'no one is above the law'. Further more there are laws in place (such as the equality act 2010) which <s>are meant</s> to protect people who are vulnerable <s>and subject</s> to crime. This shows that regardless of age, absolutely no one should be able to escape the law, and offenders who break the law should face the full legal weight of their actions. In addition, if we do not deliver punishments that match the severity of the crime just because of the age of an offender, others may think that they can get away with committing serious crimes. As a result, a powerful deterrence would be removed and crime rates would increase drastically. However, crime rates may not increase as adults understand that they cannot get away with the same crimes. In opposition to this point, it is true that crime rates will increase for the youth (as they observe their peers getting light punishments for severe crimes). Ultimately, while it is true that young people are not as mentally capable as adults, they are still able to understand the impacts of their crimes on others. Furthermore, delivering uneven punishments purely based on age undermines the UDHR and the rule of law and promotes inequality. Therefore, I <s>disagree</s> with this view to a large extent. agree

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You have effectively structured your answer to explore both sides of the debate, which is essential for a high-level response.
Clear Judgement: Your conclusion provides a decisive and well-supported judgement, directly answering the question based on the arguments you've made.
Use of Key Concepts: You correctly applied the 'rule of law' principle multiple times to support your points, demonstrating good subject knowledge.

Targets

Incorporate Specific Evidence: To add depth, try to include precise details. For example, instead of just "mentally developed," you could mention neuroscience ((the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control)). You could also refer to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) or the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs).
Refine Use of Legislation: Your mention of the Equality Act 2010 was a good attempt to use evidence, but it's not the most relevant law here. The Act primarily protects against discrimination based on characteristics like age or race, rather than governing criminal sentencing directly. Focus on more specific youth justice principles.
Develop Evaluative Language: You use "However" and "On the other hand" well. To enhance your evaluation, try using phrases like "A significant weakness in this argument is..." or "While this point is valid, it overlooks the more crucial issue of..." to show a deeper level of analysis.
Avoid Ambiguity in Conclusion: The crossed-out word in your conclusion ('disagree') before writing 'agree' could cause confusion. In an exam, ensure your final judgement is stated clearly and without alterations to avoid any doubt for the examiner.

Candidate 4511

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You successfully argued both for and against the statement, which is essential for a high-level response.
Clear Judgement: You started your answer with a clear personal judgement ("I partially disagree"), which immediately tells the examiner your line of argument.
Relevant Concepts: You included relevant Citizenship concepts, such as scientific evidence on brain development and the principle of the 'rule of law'.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good but need more detail. For example, when you mention rehabilitation, you could contrast it with the 'school of crime' effect of adult prisons.
Use Specific Evidence (Breadth): To make your arguments more convincing, include specific evidence. For instance, you could mention the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) or the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) in the UK.
Link Points Logically: Try to make your paragraphs flow more smoothly. Use evaluative language (e.g., "A more significant reason is...", "While this is a valid point, it overlooks...") to weigh up the arguments and show how they relate to your overall judgement.
Refine Terminology: Your sentence "all should caught and held accountable" is a little unclear. Aim for precise phrasing like "all should be held accountable before the law" to make your meaning exact.

Candidate 45111

Word Count: ~136 words

Strengths

Clear Structure: You have structured your answer well, looking at one side, then the other, before giving a final judgement. This is a key skill for "how far do you agree" questions.
Supported Judgement: You provide a clear conclusion ("I disagree") and support it with a reason (rehabilitation is more effective). This is crucial for moving beyond a basic answer and into the higher levels of the mark scheme.

Targets

Develop Your Points: Each argument is currently just one or two sentences long. To improve, explain *why* punishment might be a deterrent or *how* rehabilitation works. Add a second sentence to each point beginning with "This is because..." or "For example...".
Use Specific Evidence: Your answer mentions that reoffending rates have gone down, which is good. To get higher marks, you need to use more precise terminology and evidence. Could you have mentioned the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), the age of criminal responsibility (10), or the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs)?
Explore More Arguments: You have one point for and two against. To show greater "breadth," try to include more distinct arguments on each side. For the "agree" side, you could have discussed justice for victims or public protection.
Refine Expression: Some sentences are a little unclear (e.g., "...and they would repay, then from indulging in criminal activity"). Reading your work aloud can help you spot where a sentence doesn't quite make sense. A clearer version might be "...it would deter them from indulging...".

Candidate 60179

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You begin your answer with a direct and clear statement of your opinion ("I disagree with this statement..."), which is a great way to start an evaluation question.
Use of a Concrete Example: Your example of a young person stealing a phone and being given a curfew is a relevant and effective way to illustrate the idea of alternative, youth-focused punishments.

Targets

Develop Both Sides of the Argument: Your answer is almost entirely focused on why young people should be treated differently. To move beyond Level 2, you must also explain arguments FOR treating them the same (e.g., ensuring justice for victims, the need for a strong deterrent, public protection).
Use Specific Citizenship Knowledge: To add depth, try to include key terms. For this topic, you could mention the 'age of criminal responsibility' (10 in England), the goal of 'rehabilitation', or the role of 'Youth Offending Teams' (YOTs).
Structure Your Paragraphs (P.E.E.L.): Your ideas are a bit jumbled. Try using the P.E.E.L. structure (Point, Evidence, Explain, Link) to build clearer, more analytical paragraphs for each argument you make.
Refine Evaluative Language: While you used "However", you can show deeper evaluation by using phrases like "On the one hand... but on the other hand...", "A more convincing argument is...", or "While some argue for equal punishment, the principle of rehabilitation is more important because...".

Candidate 62978

Word Count: ~346 words

I mostly agree disagree with this Statement. This is because legally you aren't old enough to full accountability of your so their actions. Not only that but it is also important that young offenders are punished with punishments like rehabilitation, this would be much useful for Society because once a minor offends they will know not to reoffend because they will receive punishments for their actions. Also things like community Service could help them repair damages the damages they caused. Another reason why young people and adults should have different justice system is because most people things that young people want to do for example join in the air force & they would require parental consent & because they are not mature enough to decide by themselves. Therefore young people should have more chances to help them prevent reoffending' whereas adults are grown enough to take bad and good decisions not only that but adults also have more experience. on the other hand Some people would be agree with the Statement because we know that everyone should be treated the same way due to the Equality of Act 2010. It could also be argued that young people should be treated the same way as adults depending on if the matter is civil or criminal, because people aged 13-17 should be concious enough to know what's wrong and what's right. Also polices make sure that they educate young people about the bad things that they Overall to conclude why I disagree Shouldn't be doing and they also try to encourage young people to take the good path. Overall to conclude why I disagree with the statement is because young people are still being educated about the troubles, I also believe that young people should get talked to in a different way to adults so that they understand that what they have done isn't right and could harm society. Whereas adults should be old enough to understand and depending on their action they should be sentenced for for a longer time.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You have structured your answer well by presenting arguments on both sides of the debate ('disagree' and 'agree'). This is essential for achieving a mark above Level 2.
Clear Judgement: You state your opinion at the beginning and maintain it throughout, reinforcing it in a clear conclusion. This shows good evaluative skill.
Relevant Ideas: You raise relevant points, such as the role of rehabilitation and the different levels of maturity between young people and adults, which shows you understand the core of the question.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good, but they need more detail. For example, when you mention rehabilitation, you could explain *why* it's more effective by referencing how a young person's brain is still developing ((the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control)) and that they have a greater capacity for change.
Use Specific Evidence (Breadth): To make your arguments more powerful, include specific facts or legal principles. For example, you could mention the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) to support treating young people differently, or state the age of criminal responsibility in England (10) to add context.
Refine Legal Knowledge: Your use of the Equality Act 2010 was a good idea. However, a more relevant legal point for the 'agree' side would be the principle of 'equal justice for victims' or the role of the Crown Court in trying the most serious youth offences.
Improve Sentence Clarity: Some sentences are a little long or unclear (e.g., "I mostly agree disagree..."). Try reading your work aloud to catch awkward phrasing and ensure your points are expressed as clearly as possible.

Candidate 67029

Word Count: ~459 words

I agree that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated in exactly the same way as adults on the Justice System. I say agree with this statement because young people who commit crimes dhad the thoug time to think about whether their action have consequence so should also go through what happens when you commit these crimes. Young people need to experience the real and harsh truth of the world in order to teach them. Failure to do this will result in a rise in reoffending. The custodial sentence for children rose by 21%. Mixed and black heritaged children were reported to have been arrested the most, many who continued to reoffend. This is due to our lenient treatment towards these children and our failure to properly reprimand them. We also need to think about the community we are putting in danger, allowing these young people to go back onto the streets and into our community, causing crimes and ruckus disturbing the peace that many communities try so hard to protect. The legal justice system for adults and children are different anyways. If we 'must' protect these young people we should also protect the adults. The youth Justice system does not allowed any of the young personnels information to be revealed this can lead to a fair sentence that an adult would receive for doth commiting the same crime whilst still protecting the child. The youth Justice system also allows a responsible parent guad guardian to be present with them in court, this also means if the child needs some type of emotional support, a legal guardian will be present. Young people should be treated exactly the same way as many of these young children have teachings of what is right or wrong. However some people may disagree with this statement as they believe a young person under the age of 18 should be protected. Young people under the age of 18 do not have the full capability of understanding what is wrong and what is right, this is why many go to school to understand this and to avoid it in the future. Many young children have undergone many traumatic experiences and live in environments which leads them to committing such crimes. The court must also consider the welfare of the child under the UN conventions on the rights of the child. which rehabilitation should be consistently used when deciding a sentence for a young person, focusing on helping with the community and identifying their wrong. If young people are put into prison, their chances of getting into good colleges reduces, this also reduces their probability of getting a decent job due to their record. The young minds are still developing, theref treating the same as how adults are treated only marks situations worse for the young mind. Instead of installing fear into them, teaching and helping them understand is more effective. Overall I agree that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated the same as adults as it teaches them not to take such actions that will the end them up in Jail.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You successfully present points on both sides of the debate, discussing the need for public protection and deterrence on one side, and the importance of rehabilitation and child welfare on the other.
Clear Structure: You have a clear essay structure. You state your view, argue for it, present the counter-argument using "However...", and then conclude. This is the correct way to approach a "How far do you agree?" question.
Use of Specific Knowledge: You correctly refer to the 'UN conventions on the rights of the child' to support the argument for treating young people differently. This shows good recall of key course content.

Targets

Evidence Interpretation: Be careful to use evidence accurately. You mentioned the 21% rise in custodial sentences and racial disparity, but you incorrectly claimed this was due to "lenient treatment". This evidence is actually used to argue that harsher sentences are *not* working and are creating more inequality. Always check that your evidence supports your point.
Developing Your Judgement: Your conclusion states your opinion but doesn't explain *why* you chose one side over the other after considering both. A top-level evaluation weighs the arguments. For example: "Although rehabilitation is important, the immediate need to protect the public from serious crime is a greater priority because..." This is called a 'substantiated judgement'.
Precise Terminology: To improve your analysis, use more specific Citizenship terms. Instead of "teaching and helping them understand," you could discuss 'rehabilitation' or 'restorative justice'. When discussing young minds, you could mention their reduced 'impulse control' or 'risk awareness'.
Proofreading: There are several spelling and grammar errors (e.g., "dhad the thoug time", "personnels information", "guad guardian"). Taking a moment to proofread your work will make your arguments clearer and more professional.

Candidate 68791

Word Count: ~254 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You state a clear conclusion ("In conclusion, I disagree..."), which is crucial for answering a 'How far do you agree?' question and reaching the higher levels of the mark scheme.
Relevant Core Argument: Your main point against treating young people like adults – that their brains are still developing – is a central and valid argument in this debate.
Identifies Both Sides: You have attempted to look at both sides of the argument, mentioning reasons to agree and disagree, which is necessary to move beyond a basic, one-sided answer.

Targets

Develop Arguments with Evidence: Your points are good starting ideas but need support. When you mention rehabilitation, you could name a specific scheme like 'Restorative Justice' or the role of 'Youth Offending Teams' (YOTs).
Strengthen the 'Agree' Side: Your arguments for treating young people the same as adults are much weaker than your 'disagree' points. Think about the victims' perspective or the need for the justice system to act as a deterrent to protect the public.
Improve Clarity and Expression: Some sentences are confusing (e.g., "...as soon as they will understand..."). Reading your work aloud can help you spot where your arguments become unclear and lose their impact.
Use Evaluative Language: To improve your analysis, try to compare the arguments directly. Use phrases like "A more significant reason is...", "While it is true that...", or "On balance..." to show you are weighing up the different viewpoints.

Candidate 78910

Word Count: ~449 words

This is a statement that I believe has a clear answer. Over years, youth crime has been a common occurance, but to merge all humans as the same is just wrong. The youth system is created because we have been able to factually understand the huge difference between adults and young people. Punishing a child equal to an adult would have a severely different outcome that would not benefit society by any means. Before 1998 when the Crime and Disorder Act was passed, youth reoffending rates where much higher but when the Act was passed and we switched from harsher punishment methods to rehabilitative methods, reoffending rates decreased. We have arrived at a point where the Justice System must comply with our conscience by using ways that prevent reoffending. Many people can argue that children under 18 still have undeveloped brains and the severity of an adult punishment would have a much stronger psychological impact on a child. This could result in increasing reoffending rates and many more troubled youth lives. The aim of the Justice system is to basically admonish and punish youth offenders in order to protect the public, reduce reoffending rates and make change the perspective of offenders. With a Justice system that differs to adults we can expect better outcomes in the reoffending rates of the youth. Additionally, having children youth offenders in prison with other adult offenders can for most of their childhood does more harm than good. Children require school in order to grow, learn and become adults that do not struggle in the world of work. If a child is ill-equipped of these skills due to being entrapped in prison, the person will end up committing more crimes as they grow in order to survive. On top of that, being surrounded by offenders can influence the child to make worse decisions. The brain of a child is undecided and like a sponge. It soaks up anything around it and copies that. The experience of prison will have a lifelong psychological impact on a child's mind, meaning that no matter the severity of the crime, a child cannot be punished like an adult because they are not an adult. Many people may disagree and actually believe that children have no reason to be sugar-coated from harsh punishment and actually that a child cannot fully learn their lesson without feeling pain that will inflict fear of reoffending into them. When a child reaches a certain age e.g. they are required to be considerate of there actions and aware of the consequences. If a child refuses to comply then why should age protect them when they have no intent of protecting themselves. On top of that, for serious crimes, like murder, the people affected require a certain amount of justice. When a child is protected from harsh punishments, the victims may feel they are being downplayed which can affect their mental health severely. The affected should deserve justice regardless the circumstances. Weak punishment can make citizens not feel protected by the system which reduces trust in our national leaders. Overall, the youth doesn't deserve to recieve the same punishment as adults, regardless of the offence however Judicial punishment is required in order to make sure a lesson is learnt and they do not reoffend. The youth Justice system is not weak - it's tailored.

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You successfully argued both for and against the statement, which is essential for a high-level response. You clearly signposted the shift to the counter-argument with the phrase "Many people may disagree...".
Clear and Supported Judgement: Your essay has a consistent line of argument, with a clear judgement in the introduction and a well-summarised, nuanced conclusion. The final line, "The youth Justice system is not weak - it's tailored," is particularly effective.
Developed Reasoning: You effectively explained the consequences of your points. For instance, you linked being in an adult prison to the 'school of crime' effect and a lack of education, which in turn leads to a higher risk of reoffending.

Targets

Use Specific Terminology: Your point about undeveloped brains is strong. To elevate it, use precise terms like '(the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control)' (the part of the brain responsible for impulse control and decision-making). Similarly, when discussing rehabilitation, you could mention specific initiatives like Youth Offending Teams (YOTs).
Incorporate Legal Frameworks: A top-level answer would refer to key legal principles. Mentioning the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), especially Article 40 which focuses on rehabilitation, would have significantly strengthened your case against identical treatment.
Refine Sentence Structure: Some sentences are a little long or contain minor grammatical errors (e.g., "reoffending rates where much higher" should be "were"). Aim for clearer, more concise sentences to improve the impact of your arguments. For example, "considerate of there actions" should be "their actions".
Add Nuance to the 'Agree' Side: To show a deeper understanding, you could acknowledge that for the most serious crimes (like murder), older teenagers can already be tried in a Crown Court, just like adults. This shows the current system already has some flexibility.

Candidate 79016

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Two-Sided Structure: You correctly identified that you need to discuss both sides of the argument ('for' and 'against'), which is essential for a "How far do you agree?" question.
Focus on Victims: Your point about a victim's family wanting "full justice" is a relevant and important argument for treating young offenders the same as adults.

Targets

Clarity and Precision: Some of your sentences are confusing or incomplete (e.g., "Whilst someone else older would have received murder"). Re-read your work to ensure each sentence makes a clear, logical point.
Develop Your Points (PEEL): Instead of just stating a point (like "they don't have the experience"), develop it. Explain *why* this matters and link it to a concept, like rehabilitation being more effective than punishment for young people.
Use Specific Knowledge: To reach the higher levels, include specific facts. For this topic, you could mention the age of criminal responsibility (10 in England), the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Clear and Supported Judgement: Your conclusion needs to be a clear final answer to the question (e.g., "To a large extent, I agree..."). This judgement must be directly supported by the strongest arguments you have already explained in your essay.

Candidate 79168

Word Count: ~260 words

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You considered both sides of the debate. You argued that young people should be treated differently (due to brain development, UNCRC) but also acknowledged the counter-argument about public protection.
Use of Evidence: You supported your argument with a specific piece of knowledge by correctly identifying the 'convention on the rights of the child' as a key factor courts must consider.
Clear Judgement: Your response has a clear line of argument. You stated your position at the start ("I mostly disagree") and attempted to reaffirm it at the end, which shows good essay structure.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): To improve, add more specific detail. When you mention the UNCRC, you could name Article 40 and explain that it makes the child's welfare and rehabilitation a 'primary consideration' for the court.
Use Specialist Terminology: Instead of "jail can really affect the child's future," use more precise terms like the 'school of crime' effect (where young offenders learn from older criminals) or how a criminal record creates long-term barriers to employment.
Strengthen Your Conclusion: Your final sentence was confusing. A strong conclusion should briefly summarise your main arguments (e.g., brain development vs. public safety) and then clearly restate your final, well-supported judgement.
Sentence Structure: Some sentences are long and grammatically awkward, making them hard to follow (e.g., "...a child's past could be involved as things in their own with other adults that put them in danger"). Try to use shorter, clearer sentences to make your points more powerful.

Candidate 79187

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You have structured your answer to address both sides of the argument, using the phrase "On the other hand" to signal a shift in perspective. This is essential for a "How far do you agree?" question.
Relevant Arguments: You raise valid points against treating young people as adults, such as their lack of maturity and the risk of them being negatively influenced in adult prisons (the 'school of crime' effect).

Targets

Add a Substantiated Judgement: Your answer does not have a conclusion. You must end by stating how far you agree and explaining *why*, weighing up the points you've made to show which side is stronger.
Use Specific Evidence: To move up the mark scheme, you need to support your points with specific knowledge. For example, you could mention the age of criminal responsibility (10), the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), or the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs).
Develop Your Points (Depth): Take one of your arguments and explain it in more detail. For instance, when you mention convicts, you could explicitly name the 'school of crime' effect and explain *why* this leads to higher reoffending rates.
Refine Phrasing for Clarity: Some sentences are a little unclear (e.g., "if causing bad them away from it"). Read your work aloud to check it makes sense and clearly communicates your point.

Candidate 8a162

Word Count: ~197 words

Strengths

Clear Structure: You successfully structured your answer by presenting one side of the argument, then the other, using evaluative language like "Alternatively" to signpost the shift.
Relevant Arguments: You used relevant and distinct arguments for both sides of the debate, such as brain development (against) and the principle of equality (for).
Supported Judgement: You began with a clear judgement ("I disagree") and supported it with evidence, which is a key requirement for a Level 3 answer.

Targets

Use Specific Terminology: Instead of "youth centre (detention)", use the correct term "Young Offender Institution". Mentioning concepts like the "age of criminal responsibility" (which is 10 in England) would add precision.
Add More Evidence (Depth): Your point on brain development is good, but you could make it stronger by mentioning the role of the "(the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control)" in impulse control. When discussing restorative justice, you could explain that its aim is to reduce reoffending.
Broaden Your Arguments (Breadth): To reach the top level, you need more than one argument per side. For the 'disagree' side, you could have included the UK's obligations under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) or the 'school of crime' effect.
Refine Your Conclusion: While you start with a judgement, a concluding sentence that weighs both sides and reaffirms your final, reasoned position would strengthen your evaluation. For example: "On balance, while equality is important, the reduced culpability of young people means a focus on rehabilitation is more just and effective."

Candidate 8192

Word Count: ~119 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You begin with a direct statement of your opinion ("I mostly agree..."). This is a great way to start an essay as it immediately answers the question.
Focus on Public Safety: Your argument about the risk of reoffending and endangering the public is a very relevant and important point on one side of this debate.

Targets

Develop Both Sides of the Argument: The question asks "How far do you agree?", which requires you to analyse viewpoints on both sides. You must also explore the reasons *against* treating young people like adults to achieve a balanced evaluation.
Use Specific Citizenship Knowledge: To add depth, include specific terms and facts. You could mention the age of criminal responsibility (10 in England), the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), or the concept of rehabilitation.
Explain 'Why' Systems Differ: A key reason the youth justice system is different is due to scientific understanding of brain development. Young people have less impulse control, which can affect their decision-making. Mentioning this would strengthen the counter-argument.
Structure for Balance: A good structure would be an introduction, a paragraph for the 'agree' points, a paragraph for the 'disagree' points, and a conclusion that weighs them up to justify your final judgement.

Candidate 81926

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Clear Two-Sided Structure: You successfully structured your answer by presenting arguments for and against the statement before attempting a conclusion. This is the correct approach for a 'how far do you agree' question.
Use of Specific Knowledge: You correctly identified and used a key piece of evidence – the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) – to support your argument against identical treatment.
Good Range of Arguments: You included several distinct arguments on the 'disagree' side, including brain development, the UNCRC, and the effectiveness of rehabilitation. This shows good breadth of thought.

Targets

Develop Your Points (Depth): Your points are good starting points but need more detail. For example, when you mention the UNCRC, you could explain that Article 40 prioritises a child's rehabilitation. When you mention brain development, you could link it to the concept of 'culpability' (how blameworthy someone is).
Balance Your Argument (Breadth): Your argument against the statement is much stronger and more detailed than your argument for it. To reach the higher levels, you must develop the 'agree' side more. Consider the rights of victims or the role of punishment as a 'deterrent'.
Strengthen Your Judgement: Your conclusion says you "mostly agree," but your best arguments were on the "disagree" side. Your final judgement must clearly explain *why* you have chosen one side over the other, weighing up the specific evidence you've presented in your essay.
Use Specialist Terminology: To improve your analysis, try to incorporate key citizenship terms. Using words like 'culpability', 'rehabilitation', 'deterrence', and 'reoffending' will show the examiner a deeper understanding of the topic.

Candidate 86291

Word Count: ~377 words

I mostly agree that young people who commit serious crimes should be treated the same way as adults in the justice system because justice must be applied fairly and equally for all. However, this is a nuanced question as young people also have legal protection like the UN Rights of the Child and haven't matured fully. For starters, I mostly agree because committants affected by serious crime must get justice for what they suffered. The age of the perpetrator should not matter as crimes have been committed and people have been negatively affected. The rule of law states that no one is above the law, and to ensure that statement is fairly enforced and that no one gets off scot-free or with more lenient treatment, it must apply the same to everyone accused of a crime and in a trial. It also ensures that the people affected get fair compensation, in that they understand their perpetrators have been dealt with in accordance to the law. That community or person are now safer as a result of the defendant being trialed the same as everyone else. However, one may argue that young people should be differently treated to adults, because [scribble] rehabilitation may work better for kids than pure punishment. Generally, adults are given a prison sentencing for severe crimes. The argument is that young people, due to not having matured fully are more able to take in feedback and [scribble] counselling than adults. Hence, it would be beneficial for the young defendant to take a form of rehab over giving them a prison or community service sentence. This has worked, and is generally [scribble] shown to work if done right. Many young people don't reoffend when given counsel. However, the rebuttal here is that if the sentence is too lenient, some young offenders may reoffend because they know they won't be punished severely. Young people should be given the same treatment as adults for another reason: public deterrence. If young people are given serious sentences for serious crimes, news of that might make others who are also young think twice before committing a crime. That's a key aim of the prison system for adults, so doing it for [scribble] young people would send the same message. That would lower crime overall for the country, being a net positive. Deterrence has worked [scribble] for decades, so it would definitely work here. However a counter to this is that young people are protected by the UN Rights of the Child, which limits types of punishment and enforces basic needs like shelter. Overall, while young people being treated like adults would deter crime and [scribble] protect communities, young people are legally protected by the Rights of the Child disallowing types of punishments and most just need to discuss their problems in rehabilitation, not just sit in a prison cell for it.

Strengths

Clear Structure: You've structured your essay very effectively, presenting an argument, then a counter-argument, and then another argument with its own counter-point. This makes your reasoning easy to follow.
Consistent Evaluation: You frequently use evaluative language (e.g., "However," "one may argue," "the rebuttal here is") to weigh up the different sides of the debate. This is a key skill for AO3.
Good Range of Arguments: You cover several key themes on both sides, including justice for victims, the rule of law, deterrence, rehabilitation, and the rights of the child.

Targets

Use Specific Evidence: Your arguments are logical but would be much stronger if supported by specific evidence. For example, you could name Article 40 of the UNCRC, mention the age of criminal responsibility (10) in England, or refer to specialist bodies like Youth Offending Teams (YOTs).
Develop Depth: To move into the top band, try to explain the *impact* or *significance* of your points in more detail. For instance, when discussing rehabilitation, you could explain *why* it's more effective by mentioning neuroscience (brain development) or the 'school of crime' effect in adult prisons.
Strengthen Your Judgement: Your introduction stated you "mostly agree," but your final sentence seemed to lean the other way. Ensure your conclusion clearly summarises your main points and delivers a final judgement that is consistent with the overall thrust of your argument.
Define Key Terms: You mention the "rule of law" and "UN Rights of the Child." Briefly defining what these mean shows the examiner your precise understanding of key citizenship concepts.

Candidate a8726

Word Count: ~238 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You provide a clear and well-supported final judgement, directly answering the 'How far do you agree?' part of the question. Your conclusion logically follows from the arguments you made.
Two-Sided Argument: You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument. You start by considering why people might agree with the statement before developing your own counter-arguments, which is key for a balanced answer.
Use of Specific Knowledge: You use specific knowledge about the features of a youth court (e.g., no viewing gallery, less formal) to effectively support your argument against treating young offenders like adults.

Targets

Develop Argument Breadth: Your argument for treating young people the same as adults is quite brief. To achieve a more balanced and convincing analysis (Level 4), expand on this side. You could discuss the rights of victims, the need for public protection, or the idea that the punishment should fit the crime, regardless of age.
Incorporate Key Terminology: To add depth and precision, try to include more specific Citizenship terminology. For example, when discussing rehabilitation, you could mention 'Youth Offending Teams (YOTs)' or 'restorative justice'. When discussing rights, you could refer to the 'UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC)'.
Use Evidence and Statistics: Your points are logical, but they would be more powerful if backed by evidence. For instance, when discussing brain development, you could mention the role of (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control). You could also use statistics on reoffending rates to support your claims about rehabilitation.
Refine Evaluative Language: While you use 'However' and 'Overall' well, you can make your evaluation more sophisticated. Use phrases like 'On the one hand... on the other hand...', 'A significant counter-argument is...', or 'While it is true that..., it is more important to consider...' to show you are actively weighing up the different viewpoints.

Candidate 89162

Word Count: ~117 words

Strengths

Relevant Starting Point: You have identified a valid point to begin your argument – the transfer of young offenders to adult prisons at 18. This is a good foundation to build upon.
Logical Connection: You use the word "Therefore" to try and connect your evidence (transfer at 18) to a conclusion (sentences shouldn't be different). This shows the beginning of analytical thinking.

Targets

Address Both Sides: Your answer only considers the argument FOR treating young people the same as adults. To pass Level 2, you must also analyse arguments AGAINST this view (e.g., the purpose of rehabilitation, differences in brain development, the role of Youth Offending Teams).
Develop Your Points (PEEL): Your single point needs more detail. Use the PEEL structure (Point, Evidence, Explain, Link) to build a full paragraph. For example, explain why the transfer to an adult prison makes the initial different sentence seem unfair.
Include a Clear Judgement: The question asks "How far do you agree?". You need to state your overall opinion clearly, for example, "On balance, I disagree with the statement to a large extent because..." and then explain why you have reached this conclusion by weighing up the arguments.
Use Specialist Terminology: To improve the quality of your analysis, include key terms like 'rehabilitation', 'punishment', 'Youth Offending Teams (YOTs)', 'age of criminal responsibility', or the 'UN Convention on the Rights of the Child'.

Candidate 90212

Word Count: ~178 words

Strengths

Identifies a Key Difference: You correctly identify a central difference between the youth and adult justice systems: the focus on rehabilitation versus punishment.
Understands Rehabilitation's Purpose: You clearly explain the goal of rehabilitation in the youth system – to deter reoffending and maintain the young person's education.

Targets

Develop Both Sides Equally: Your argument against treating young people like adults is much stronger than your argument for it. To reach the higher levels, provide developed points for *both* sides of the debate. For example, you could have discussed the rights of victims or the need for a strong deterrent.
Use Specific Evidence: Your points are quite general. Strengthen them by including specific evidence, such as the age of criminal responsibility (10), the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Make a Clear Judgement: The question asks 'How far do you agree?'. You need to state your overall opinion clearly (e.g., 'I agree to a small extent...' or 'I strongly disagree...') and then explain *why* you have reached that conclusion, using the arguments you have already made.
Use Evaluative Language: To show the examiner you are making a reasoned judgement, use phrases like 'However, the strongest argument is...', 'On balance...', or 'While some may argue that...'.

Candidate 90217

Word Count: ~328 words

Strengths

Clear Judgement: You state your opinion clearly at the beginning ("I partially agree") and develop it in the conclusion, showing good evaluative thinking.
Focus on Rehabilitation: You correctly identify that the youth justice system focuses on rehabilitation, which is a key difference from the adult system.
Understanding of Culpability: You make several good points about why young people might be less responsible for their actions, such as brain development, peer pressure, and learning from others.

Targets

Develop Both Sides: Your argument against the statement is much stronger than your argument for it. To improve, you must provide at least one detailed paragraph explaining why someone might *agree* with the statement (e.g., victim's rights, public safety, deterrence).
Use Specific Evidence: Your points are good ideas, but they need support. Try to include specific knowledge like the age of criminal responsibility (10), the name of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC), or the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs).
Improve Sentence Structure: Some of your sentences are very long and contain multiple ideas, which can make them confusing. Try to break them down into shorter, clearer sentences. For example, your first sentence could be split into three or four separate sentences.
Complete Your Points: The paragraph beginning "On the other hand..." is incomplete. Always re-read your work to ensure every point you start is fully explained and finished.

Candidate 90628

Word Count: ~180 words

Strengths

Balanced Argument: You effectively analyse viewpoints on BOTH sides of the argument, discussing reasons for and against treating young offenders like adults.
Clear Judgement: You state a clear judgement ("I partially disagree") at the beginning and use evaluative language to weigh up the arguments at the end.

Targets

Use Specific Evidence: To move into the top level, you must support your points with specific knowledge. For example, when discussing rehabilitation, mention Youth Offending Teams (YOTs) or the UNCRC. When discussing biology, mention the developing (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control).
Develop Your Points (Depth): Instead of listing several points, try to develop one or two on each side in more detail. Explain *how* a lack of impulse control (due to brain development) makes a young person less culpable, or *why* restorative justice is more effective.
Structure for Clarity: Your response combines points from both sides within the second paragraph. Try dedicating one paragraph to the 'agree' arguments and another to the 'disagree' arguments. This will make your line of reasoning clearer and more sustained.
Refine Your Conclusion: The final rhetorical question is interesting, but a concluding sentence that summarises your main reason for 'partially disagreeing' would be a stronger way to end your evaluation.

Candidate 91067

Word Count: ~390 words

I parcically agree with this stament as yes be young people should be treated as the same because we have rules that has equality for everyone but kids are still learning unlike adults The reason I agree is because many people know the differnt right from right and wrong e.g if you stale from someone and you get caught and you know your wrong you would take accountability and get in trouble, so why should we treat it different just because they are young After leaving primary school you should know what is aceptable as you learn what you can and can't do so we shouldn't sugar coat it because of their age or segruatted or kind more care. However another point why I disagree is because many people have been through or go through it to lead it for example a child that has grow up with parents who were involed with gang, drugs and ilegal acts then we should be more understanding as that right could be more different to us as they may think stealing is okay or the police won't catch them as they are easily mentality then we should be more left on them because of the type round they came from and sometime miscommunication (agree with stament) Some can say no how about our community is we allow these types of things to happen what about their say yes they are kids but anyone can do harm to anyone to ensure everyone has a law and say community scandation accordingly and let the society improve you people to be stronger and have more and postiv say sigh. Some may disagree with this stament and say why do they need to go to somewhere like prison or jail and said when they can learn bad habits that can affect them after when they leave instead they can go rehabilitation where they still get education will be learning about how to improve as a whole. This will now to allow them to see a better lifestyle and not want to re-offend as much In conclusion I think I agree with the stament many young people think since they are under 18 they should get away with that behaviour and that's the reason why the older people are sending children to do their bad activities for them so and brain washing them about how they won't get caught so they need to be treated the same as though how no matter the age you will get punished in this society.

Strengths

Two-Sided Argument: You have successfully structured your answer to look at both sides of the argument (agreeing and disagreeing), which is essential for reaching the higher levels.
Clear Judgement: Your conclusion is clear and directly answers the question. You link your final decision back to a specific argument you made about exploitation, which is an effective evaluative technique.
Relevant Arguments: You raise several relevant points, such as the influence of a child's upbringing and the potential for rehabilitation, showing you understand the core issues of the debate.

Targets

Use Specific Evidence: To move into the top levels, you need to support your points with specific evidence. For example, when discussing treating children differently, you could mention the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) or the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs).
Develop Your Points (Depth): Take your ideas further. For instance, when you mention rehabilitation, explain *why* it's considered effective. You could mention that it aims to address the root causes of offending and has been shown to reduce reoffending rates more than purely punitive sentences.
Use Key Terminology: Incorporate subject-specific vocabulary to make your arguments more precise. Terms like 'age of criminal responsibility', 'deterrence', 'mitigating circumstances', and 'rehabilitation' would strengthen your analysis.
Improve Clarity and Sentence Structure: Some of your sentences are long and difficult to follow. Try to write shorter, clearer sentences. For example, instead of "...we should be more left on them because of the type round they came from...", try: "Therefore, the justice system should consider these mitigating circumstances."

Candidate 98726

Word Count: ~231 words

Strengths

Clear Two-Sided Structure: You effectively use phrases like "One may agree" and "However, one may disagree" to build a balanced argument, which is essential for AO3.
Focus on Rehabilitation: Your argument against treating young people like adults is strong. You correctly identify that rehabilitation is proven to be more effective and explain its benefits, such as reflection and restorative justice.

Targets

Use Specific Evidence: Your arguments are logical but general. To improve, include specific knowledge, such as the UK's age of criminal responsibility (10), the role of Youth Offending Teams (YOTs), or the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC).
Develop a Substantiated Judgement: A "How far do you agree?" question requires a clear conclusion. You need to weigh the arguments and decide which side is stronger, explaining *why*. For example, "On balance, I disagree because the long-term benefits of rehabilitation... outweigh the short-term desire for equal punishment."
Deepen Your Analysis: Instead of just listing points, try to connect them. For example, how does the argument about brain development (a key point you missed) directly challenge the idea that young people should face the same consequences as adults?
Complete Your Answer: The response cuts off abruptly. Ensure you manage your time to write a full, developed answer, including a concluding paragraph where you state and justify your final judgement.

Overall Class Weaknesses & Models

1. Lack of Specific Evidence: Many students made good general points but failed to support them with specific, factual knowledge. Top-level answers must include precise details like names of laws, key concepts, or statistics to be credible.
👉 Model: In England and Wales, the age of criminal responsibility is set at 10 years old, which is low by international standards and means children can be held criminally liable from a young age.
2. Undeveloped Arguments (Lack of Depth): Students often stated a relevant point (e.g., "young people's brains are different") but didn't explain its significance. To improve, they must explain *why* their point matters and link it back to the question.
👉 Model: The fact that (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control) is not fully developed until the mid-20s is crucial, as this immaturity in decision-making and impulse control reduces a young person's culpability, making adult punishments inappropriate.
3. Imbalanced Argument: A significant number of essays were one-sided, often only exploring the reasons *against* treating young people like adults. To achieve a high mark, students must analyse the arguments on *both* sides of the debate before reaching a conclusion.
👉 Model: Conversely, a key argument for equal treatment is the principle of justice for victims; some argue that the severity of a crime, not the age of the offender, should determine the punishment to ensure public safety and confidence in the law.
4. Weak or Missing Judgement: Many conclusions were either missing, contradictory, or simply stated an opinion without justification. A strong conclusion must weigh the evidence from both sides and explain *why* one set of arguments is more convincing than the other.
👉 Model: On balance, while the need for justice for victims is a powerful argument, it is outweighed by the evidence that a separate youth justice system focused on rehabilitation is more effective at reducing reoffending, making it the superior approach for society in the long term.

Teacher Next Steps

1. Evidence Grenades: Give students a mini-whiteboard. Call out a key concept from the topic (e.g., 'Youth Justice', 'Rehabilitation', 'Human Rights'). Students have 60 seconds to "explode" the concept by writing down as many specific, related facts as they can (e.g., Age of responsibility = 10, YOTs, UNCRC Article 40, (the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that controls decision-making and impulse control), restorative justice). Share the best answers as a class.
2. The 'So What?' Drill: Project a simple point from an essay onto the board (e.g., "Young offenders should be treated differently because their brains are still developing."). In pairs, one student reads the sentence, and the other asks "So what?". The first student must then add a sentence explaining the significance (e.g., "...so they have less impulse control."). Repeat the "So what?" question to add a third layer of depth (e.g., "...so their level of blame is lower and rehabilitation is more suitable.").
3. Argument Tennis: Divide the class into two halves, one 'For' the statement and one 'Against'. You act as umpire and serve a point to one side (e.g., "For: Serious crimes deserve serious punishments, regardless of age."). A student from that side must state the point. A student from the opposing side must immediately 'return' it with a counter-argument (e.g., "Against: But a young person's reduced culpability means the punishment should focus on rehabilitation, not just retribution."). Continue for 5-10 minutes.
4. Conclusion Deconstruction: Provide the class with two model conclusions: one weak (e.g., "In conclusion, I disagree with the statement.") and one strong (the model sentence from the weaknesses section). In pairs, students have 5 minutes to highlight and label the key components of the strong conclusion: 1) The final judgement phrase (e.g., "On balance..."). 2) Acknowledging the counter-argument. 3) The decisive reason for their judgement.

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Model Answer (Exemplar)

📋 The Question & Indicative Content

📌 Indicative Content — arguments you could have used

✅ Arguments FOR the statement (treat young serious offenders the same as adults)

❌ Arguments AGAINST the statement (young offenders should be treated differently)

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